Excitement Is A New Album From My Favorite Boy Band, Ever

For those of you who don't care a whit about NKOTB, my obsession with Donnie Wahlberg, or the fact that I'm doing cartwheels because of their new album, you can probably skip this post. However, you are weirdos and I reserve the right to judge you for judging me. 

The New Kids newest album, "10," came out today. I downloaded it on iTunes this morning before the gym, and was waiting (with Brian) outside of Target at 7:45 so I could buy my store exclusive copy (TWO EXTRA TRACKS!!!) when they opened at 8.

Like a true fan-girl, I recorded my reactions as I opened the cd. There may or may not be a love letter for the band at the end as well. Enjoy. 

Happiness Is A List (An AbbyGabs Video Blog)

It's a good day. The kind of day that makes me happy to be alive. In fact, I'm in such a good mood that I made a list of all the things that are making me happy and turned them into a quick video blog, all for your viewing pleasure.  





What are you happy about today, readers? Tell me all about it in the comments below. Happy Weekend!

This video is dedicated to gal pal, Arielle, for lodging a formal protest yesterday about my lack of video blogs lately. She's a fan, and that's one of many reasons why I adore her. So I whipped up this little ditty just to make her laugh.

Twenty Questions, Revisisted

A few months ago, I reached out to my friends, family, and readers, and asked them to submit questions for a video blog. They did, and it turned out to be one of my favorite vlogs I've ever done.

However, there was one friend and reader who went above and beyond the call of duty. The questions she sent me were so fantastic, so funny, and SO PERFECT for Abby Gabs, that I just had to revisit our interview, and post them for you here. Prepare to laugh, because my pal Rachel is one funny gal. 

♥

Rachel: It's said that you turned down the role of Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind because Clark Gable was unwilling to leave you in the final, crucial scene. On her deathbed, Vivian Leigh cursed you for upstaging her at the premiere where this tidbit came out. Tell us... Did she really give birth to a litter of puppies at that event? And what happened to those said puppies?

Abby: I cannot confirm or deny the rumor of puppies, as I was too busy flirting with Gable and wowing the cameras with my authentic 1930s hairdo. Also, I was giggling in the corner with the Doctor, because how else could I have gone back in time to upstage Leigh, without the transportation of the TARDIS?

R: You've been offered the role of love interest in the new Transformers movie. Michael Bay has offered to Photoshop Megan Fox out of the previous movies. Your own love interest, Brian, is a huge Transformers fan. Will these men influence your decision to accept the role?

A: I had originally turned down the role until Mark Wahlberg, Donnie's brother, contacted me and begged me to do it. I don't normally accept roles under those conditions, but as I'm a close, personal friend of the Wahlbergs, I decided to join the cast so I can work with Mark again.

However, I really don't care what Bay decides to do about Megan Fox. She dug her grave, and now she has to lie in it with cast-off copies of her, *ahem*, "movie," Jennifer's Body.

R: We've all seen the made-for-TV movie, That Gabby Abby. It's a required course in 47 of the 48 continuous states' 5th grade education. How does it make you feel that North Dakota refuses to make it a required course as well?

A: I applaud any and all states' rights to create their own laws, so long as it does not interfere with my bank account. Therefore, I will be staging a peaceful protest on the North Dakota/South Dakota border in the upcoming months. There will be cupcakes, people waving signs around, and a New Kids on the Block cover band. I'm working on getting a cameo appearance by Donnie Wahlberg himself, but he still hasn't confirmed the dates with me as of yet. By the time I'm through, North Dakota will adore me, and my film will be forced down the throats of adolescents in the snowy north as well.

R: You're running for President this year. What is your stance on jeggings and should they be illegal?

A: Here is my public service announcement about that very subject.

R: You come from humble beginnings, and yet you decided to turn down Brangelina's offer to give you their mansion in California. Your landlord went on national television to offer to take down the wood paneling in your country flat, but you refused citing his love for '70s wood paneling and your respect for it. This has sparked a trendy design craze for the wood paneling and designers praise you for your bold statement. There are rumors that you'll be using orange shag carpeting in your home next... Are they true?

A: I was high at that television interview with my landlord. Wood paneling sucks. It should be ripped from every wall in America and burned in a giant bonfire. We'll call it an effigy to bad taste and horrible design. 

I don't mind shag carpet, though.

R: When you bought the new iPhone 5, Siri began speaking exclusively to you, neglecting all other iPhone 5 users and forcing Apple to attempt to correct the glitch. Siri responded by detaching herself from the Apple mainframe and becoming the first recorded sentient computer program. She now claims the title of Abby's BFF and there have been several attempts on the lives of other people who attempt to claim the title as well. Do you feel responsible for her actions?

A: Siri can be difficult to read. She tends to have a split personality, especially when asked questions regarding the space/time continuum, when giving directions to Mars, and when fielding that difficult question of which came first, the chicken or the egg. I cannot comment on the attempted murder claim, as my lawyer advises me against it. What I will say is that Siri is great. She is so great. She is, like, the best friend, ever...I swear...

R: A new phenomenon has been sweeping the world. Leading scientists cannot explain why spiders are giving birth to and randomly turning into fluffy bunnies. Some speculate that it is a direct reaction to the revelation in the Broadway musical hit, That Gabby Abby starting Merryl Streep, that you are frightened of spiders. What are your thoughts?

A: To Drs. Hoffstetter and Cooper, who are leading this research, I send you a huge thanks. Spiders give me the willies. And bunnies are adorable!

R: The New Kids On The Block have recently announced a brand new tour. Donnie Whalberg has gone public with his love for you and has even named the tour, "Abby Will You Marry Me?" He regularly Photoshops himself into pictures with you and has blogged about his obsession many times. You have made it very clear that you love and are faithful to your cabana boy, Brian, going so far as to marry him. What advice would you give others with this level of unrequited love?

A: Ah, unrequited love. It's a sneaky, painful, careless mistress. Here are my tips to those who suffer this terrible fate.

1: Be kind. Regardless of your feelings, there are others in the world who would give anything for a kind word from you. 

2: Be cautious over the words that you choose, but don't be afraid to share a little piece of yourself with your fans, just to make their own lives a little more meaningful.

3: Try to refrain from posting too many racy photographs of yourself on Twitter. Sure, it's fun to get the fans all whipped up into a frenzy, but it's taxing on their hearts. Give sparingly, but give.

♥

Thanks, Rachel, for sending me the most creative questions, ever. I hope you are suitably impressed. :)

Saturday. (An Abby Gabs Video Blog)

My phone dinged as soon as I turned it on this morning. And I received a cheerful text from friend and fellow blogger, Laverne.

I'd never lie to Laverne So, here it is, readers. A video blog, all about my typical Saturday.




*If you can't see the video, click HERE, or point your browser to this link: http://youtu.be/AFgvGp021zM

**Also, if you're insanely jealous of the coolest coffee mug on the planet--it was a Hanukkah gift from Aunt Tina--never fear. You can buy a TARDIS mug HERE. (What you didn't see on the video is that it is a heat changing mug. Pour hot liquid into the mug, and the TARDIS disappears on one side, and reappears on the other. So. Freakin'. Cool.)

***Lastly, if you're curious about the music in my video blogs, today's featured songs are "Saturday's Child" by the Monkees, and "Hail to the Chief," played by the US Army Band. I own both songs, so don't sue me.

The End (For Real This Time) -- An Abby Gabs Video Blog

If you're still able to use a computer, and you want to see this video blog, but are having a hard time viewing it here, point your browser to: http://youtu.be/pYAgkhTAols

Thanks for watching!

My New Shoes

When I was a kid, it didn't take much for my Mom to convince me that spending an afternoon shopping was a good idea. Truly, I've always loved to shop. It didn't matter to me if we were going for a quick ten minute perusal of the hardware store, or if we were going to spend all day bouncing from shopping mall to outlet store---Mom said, "Let's go shopping!" and I said, "I'm in!"

But the two words she could utter to really get my 7-year-old inner shopper excited?

"New Shoes."

Oh yeah. Especially if they were dress shoes.

Mom, actually, wasn't usually too thrilled when I needed dress shoes for some special occasion. Not because she didn't like to shop. But because I had a very specific test for whether a particular pair of shoes was going to work for me or not. And that often involved doubling our time at a store.

You see, it didn't matter to me if the shoes were comfortable. It didn't matter what color they were, or what style. It didn't even matter to me if they had snaps, straps, or laces.

All I REALLY cared about was how they sounded when I walked on a hardwood floor.

Luckily, most of the shoe stores we frequented back in the late 80s came equipped with a handy-dandy little section of linoleum near the front door. Mom would strap me into my shiny new patent leather mary janes, and before she could complete the "where's your toe?" test, I was beating feet up to the linoleum to check out the "clippy cloppy" factor of my new kicks.

Anything that made a sound other than "clippy cloppy" immediately got sent to the rejection pile, much to my mother's chagrin.

I don't think I've ever tried to explain what it is that I love so much about shoes that make that sound. I think, when I was a kid, it was because they made me feel grown up. Important. Like the kids in my class would hear me coming, just like Miss Green in her fancy black pumps.

There may have been some fascination with noisy shoes from the time I was 4, and strapped on my very first pair of tap shoes.

In truth, "clippy cloppy" shoes made me feel glamorous. Like a tiny version of Miss USA, except with even bigger hair, and a hot pink dress. Because hot pink was my favorite color from age 7 to 10. And we all remember how big hair was in the 80s.

Fast forward to my adult years, and the sound a shoe makes on hardwood rarely comes into play when choosing new shoes. In college, it was about fashion. Now, it's about comfort (and some semblance of style.) 

But a few days ago, I spotted a pair of boots that I knew just had to be mine. Sure, they had a slight heel--something I usually avoid at all costs--but everything about them....from the sleek design to the silver side buckle...made me dream of making them mine. Eagerly, I slid them onto my feet and admired them in the tiny little foot mirror. As I started walking around in the carpeted store, I had a flashback to the many times I tapped my way through the shoe stores in my childhood. Noticing a bit of hardwood near the entrance, I grabbed my purse and sneaked over, tapping my toe tentatively on the hard surface. And when the "clippy cloppy" sound reverberated back to my ears, I knew I'd found the perfect pair of boots for me.

Yes, I bought them. Yes, I giggle like a school girl every time I wear them.

Video Proof:


What can I say? These boots have the capability of making me feel like a fashionable, slightly-fancy, grown-up version of the kid I used to be, in all their "clippy cloppy" glory. I say every girl needs a pair of shoes that can do that, am I right?

This post is dedicated to Mom, for all her patience and infinite wisdom when it came to shopping for shoes.

Twenty Questions--An Abby Gabs Video Blog

I wanted to do a video blog, but I couldn't think of anything funny to talk about. So, I turned to the internet and asked my friends, family and readers to ask me their most burning questions (about me.) You asked, I answered. Here's the (incredibly long) video blog I promised. Thanks to all who submitted questions!





If you can't see my video, point your browser here:  http://youtu.be/U9L8V8QaJUc

Walt's video blog can be found here: http://youtu.be/nRuVF_P4STE

HUGE thanks goes out to Brian because if it weren't for him, you wouldn't be viewing this video at all. You rock my socks, babe.

Going For Gold--An Abby Gabs Video Blog

Have you been watching the Olympics? We have! Soccer, swimming, gymnastics, diving, cycling, speed walking, trampoline-ing...you name it, we've seen it. In fact, the hubby and I have been practically glued to our TV since the games started back in July.


Which explains why I didn't see the Late Enough Olympics until yesterday.


Now, I've told you all about the genius that is Alex before. I've praised her, I photoshopped bandaids on her face, and I even created a unicorn t-shirt design with her. But when I say that this particular vlog of Alex partaking in her favorite Olympic events is comedic gold...well, you should believe me. Because it is.


And Alex isn't the only one who's pole-vaulting over her living room sofa. So is Katie from Sluiter Nation. Don't mess with this family when it comes to the gymnastics floor exercise. They're the Russian gymnasts of the blogosphere.


Anyhoo, when I watched the video blogs these ladies created all about the Olympics, I decided that I had to mercilessly copy participate with them, in true Abby Gabs fashion. And so, I present to you, an Abby Gabs original video blog titled "Going for Gold."

(If you can't see the video, click HERE or go to: http://youtu.be/0HmevvCo_cw)

**Thanks to Alex and Katie for inspiring me to go for my Olympic dream. And for not wanting to shun me for totally copying your original ideas. You guys rock.


***And PS: Don't miss my first-of-three co-posts with Laverne! Did you know that you still have to do a mountain of laundry even if you vacation without kids? I spoil your vacation fantasies in a post titled So This Is What It's Like.

Another Weight Loss Video Blog

It's been awhile since I updated everyone, so here is the latest in the series of weight loss video blogs I'm calling "ARRRGH! An Abby Gabs Video Blog." Believe me, it will all make sense eventually. Enjoy.

Can't see the blog? Point your browser here ----> http://youtu.be/1duYx422N0I

I'm linking up again with Yeah Write. From what I understand, it's a little untraditional to submit a video blog for these linky parties. Oh well, I'm nothing if not a rebel. Make sure you stop by later in the week to vote for your 3 favorite blogs that are posted! (I won't judge you if you don't pick Abby Gabs. Much.)


**EDIT** Turns out, the song I had in my head had nothing to do with being frustrated. In fact, Offspring was singing about keeping things separated. What can I say? I think my lyrics are better.

Why Post It Thursday When I Can Post It Today?

HALLELUJAH!! 
I got it to work! Finally! Here's the video blog I promised last week. Ignore the references to "Thursday" and "a few weeks from now."







If you can't see the video, point your browser here: http://youtu.be/g-sTIZtQOUo

Please Stand By

I was super-excited about my blog yesterday. I had an entire video blog planned out, down to the last shot. I eagerly got to work, setting up my camera, giggling with anticipation at the antics I had planned for you.


However, Technology had another plan for me yesterday.

Source

First, the dusty old digital camera that I use to shoot my video blogs just wouldn't work. I couldn't even get the stupid thing to turn on with fresh batteries. I mean...it is held together with scotch tape and spit, so I should be TOO surprised that it's finally gone to camera heaven. 


But--there was a solution to that problem. We actually have a hi-def video camera that I can use to shoot my blogs. Only problem with that---I'm fuzzy on how to convert the files so they'll work with my video editing software. But...no biggie. I'm a smart girl. I'm college educated. I figure, I'll figure it out as I go along.


So, I set up again, using my fancy-schmancy hi-def video camera. I shoot all the different bits of the video blog I had planned. I preview them on the computer. I'm a happy girl. Then comes the time to figure out how to get them from camera to hard drive. Right. The part I figured I could figure out.


Thirty minutes of mashing buttons, reading menus and crossing my fingers, I turn to the internet for help. I find the instruction booklet and, ten minutes later, the video files are uploaded onto my desktop. Fan-freakin'-tastic.


The next step is to create the Photoshop files that will be the intro and exit for the video blog. You know...the ones that look like this.


Making good progress now, I happily click on Photoshop to set to work.


Except it spazzes out, flips me off, and crashes.

Source

Seriously?? I try again, opening the software and hoping for the best.


It crashes again.


At this point I turn into Cathy from the comic strip.

Source

Ack, indeed.


Thirty more minutes of head-scratching, forehead slapping, and muttered cursing, and I *think* I've figured out the issues. I begin downloading a few updates and, deciding to get creative, pull out my sharpies instead. 'I know!' I think, 'I'll just draw my little intro/exit panels and then scan them into the computer! Genius! Clever! Endearing! I'm such a time-saver.' So I whip out some card stock and let my inner child out. And the panels turn out super-cute. 


At this point it's almost noon. And the computer is still downloading updates for Adobe. So, I stick with my scanning plan and fire up the ol' HP.


And get approximately one scan completed before it goes belly-up, too.

See how cute it is?!?!? Argh!!!!

At this point I'm beginning to think that all the electronics in the house had a midnight meeting and decided to play an early April Fools joke on me. Only I'm not finding it humorous AT ALL.


So guess what happens next, readers??


If you guessed fist-shaking, more cursing, and another half an hour troubleshooting yet another tech issue on the web, you'd be correct.


By now it's way past lunchtime. I decide to reboot the computer, take a few minutes away from the whole thing, and enjoy my turkey sandwich on whole grain bread. Funnily enough, said sandwich doesn't do much to lower my blood pressure, which is pulsing through my veins like a freight train. Nothing like frustration to get the heart pumping.


So, lunch finished, dishes washed, and I'm ready to face my foe again. In a last ditch effort, I decide to hold my breath and open Photoshop again, since I can't get the printer working. And...EUREKA! It works! I quickly bang out my 4 panels, save them to the hard drive, and prepare to edit my video blog.


Usually this takes about an hour. Longer if I'm adding sound effects and whatnot. But yesterday's vlog was pretty straight-forward. I already had the songs I needed, the panels were finished, so all I had left to do was cut out the unwanted bits of video and get everything in the right order.


Five minutes into the process I'm noticing that Windows Live Movie Maker is doing something weird with the videos. Something about processing them before I can edit them so that they can be viewed properly. I shrug it off as something to do with the video files from the camcorder versus the POS camera, so I shrug it off and keep at it.


Forty-five minutes into the process, things start to slooooooow doooooooown. What normally takes the program 3 minutes to open is now taking 6...then 9....then 12....

Seriously. Yertle the Turtle was faster than my PC yesterday. (source)

At this point I begin to consider the likelihood that I'll have to make a run outside for an ax to protect myself against the evils of technology looming in my home. Because I'm seriously concerned that there's an electronic uprising on my hands.


Just as I add the last few touches to the video blog, and manage to save it, Movie Maker shuts itself down. I'm absolutely flabbergasted. I reboot the computer again, hoping everything is going to work out. All I have to do at this point is save the blessed thing to YouTube, and then I'm home free. But alas, each time I try to open Movie Maker after that point, it shuts down before I have the chance to do much more than pray.


By the time my husband gets home from class, I'm a frazzled, angry, frustrated mess. I try to explain the problems I've been having, dumping all my displeasure on his already burdened shoulders. He diligently sits down at the desk, and I'm convinced he'll have me up and running again in no time.


In short, my husband dealt with computer issues from 3:45 to 5:30 and only managed to fix the printer. 


And so, I throw my hands up in the face of technology today and say, "I quit!"


(Except I really don't. Because I'm determined to get that video blog posted. It may not be today, it may not even be tomorrow...but it will be shared, one way or another. Even if I have to mime it in photos.)

An Abby Gabs Video Blog

If you can't see the video, point your browser here: http://youtu.be/Y9TT3c6l2OU

A Saturday Afternoon Video Blog

If you can't see the awesomeness that is the video above, point your browser here: http://youtu.be/o4AzMs1MdBM

An Opera Singer I Am Not

My husband is an evil, evil man.


Last night, as we readied for bed, he "song bombed" me.


Song bombed? What does that mean? Well, dear reader, let me explain.


There I'll be, minding my own business, brushing my teeth/folding laundry/checking my email, when, from another room, I'll hear my husband singing a song. Not just any song, mind you, but a song he KNOWS will get stuck in my head for the next three years days.


Sometimes it's a romantic gesture...a song he serenades me with in his silly, soft falsetto.





Other times it may be a theme song for one of our favorite shows---one that we'll both walk around humming under our breath. Or one that has a catchy chorus.







But most of the time, dear reader, it is one of those annoying commercial songs that have a habit of getting so lodged in your brain, it seems to take a stick of dynamite to knock it loose.


You know the kind of commercials I'm talking about, right? The most notorious one in our house---the JG Wentworth opera commercial.





I. Hate. This. Commercial.


Not because of the company, or whatever it is that they do. But because of the insanely addicting, fake opera song. All it takes is the first few bars, and the song is inevitable stuck somewhere in my cerebral cortex for days on end. I literally sing/hum/whistle it ALL DAY LONG. Seriously. See?





Please make it stop.

Things I Excel At: The Guilt Trip (A Video Blog)

**For those who think me insensitive and cruel for putting a major guilt trip on my husband, please note that this is simply a silly game we play before he goes in for a double shift. He knows I'm kidding. (mostly.)


If you couldn't see the video posted above, copy and paste the following link into your browser:  http://youtu.be/rVWicaOFgqo

The Whining About Weight Loss (Without Really Whining) Video Blog

It took me 7 tries to get this video blog right. That's a lot of tries. I think I got it right, though. You have no idea how hard it is to whine without sounding whiny.





If you cannot see the video, go here: http://youtu.be/robq1hWgRdo

Transforming Prime--an AbbyGabs Vlog

In an effort to repair my marriage after yesterday's post, in which I outline all the ways Jem is cooler than Transformers, I agreed to let my husband teach me how to transform Optimus Prime.


Not only did it give my hubby great pleasure teaching me the ways of the robot, I was also able to check something off of my big "30 Things to Do While I'm 30" list.


(If you haven't read yesterday's post, you may consider doing so before watching the video. But even if you don't, I hope you will find it humorous anyway.)


Without further ado, here is the funniest video blog I've ever done, hands down. Stick, with it...the good stuff happens around minute 3...









***No robots were injured in the making of this movie.***


PS: I tried really hard to bleep out my profanities. Sorry to Mommy bloggers out there. If you want your kids to see Optimus Prime performing jazz hands, I curse at 2:32 and again at the very end. May I suggest you keep an eye on the clock and make an even louder "BLEEEEEEP" noise to assist my own? 


PPS: Can't see the video? Here's the link: http://youtu.be/M4g1MVu9wNI

I'm an Over-Achiever Because My First Ever Linky Is Also A Video Blog

Thanks to Ryan from The Woven Moments for this blog idea. After my week-long adventure in the sun, my brain cells were fried. Visit her blog to learn how you can participate in the Naked Truth Linky!