The REAL Reason I'm Addicted to Photoshop

Whether you've been a reader of AbbyGabs from it's inception, or you're new to our hallowed pages, you've most likely noticed an obvious theme.


I. Am. Addicted. To. Photoshop.


It's true. I'm not afraid to make myself look ridiculous by adding a jaunty hat, a sandwich board, or a cheerful Richard Simmons. Similarly, my husband, famous movie characters, and someone's expensive yacht are also not immune.


I've even started writing comic strips, illustrating them with Photoshop.


Yes, I enjoy turning on some music, firing up my computer, and magically extracting a bow tie as much as the next gal. But there's another, underlying reason for my addiction to Photoshop. And it's less complicated than you think.


It is simply this: I cannot draw.


Seriously. This is a picture of a straight line I drew just now. With a ruler.

I know. It's sad.  


I've ALWAYS wished I could draw. Creativity is my forte. I'm completely and 100% right brained. In fact, I often wonder if the left side of my brain works at all. Not being able to draw, even the silliest of things, cramps my creative style.


Here are a few examples of things I "Doodle" well.

The ever-popular girlie flower.

Block letters--it comes from being a cheerleader eons ago.

I have no idea.

Listen, I warned you.


I've always wanted to write a children's book, but since I can't draw, I'd have to rely on an illustrator. Which, until recently, would've been a serious pain in the arse. (Luckily, I have my dear friend, Sam, to rely on now. He's a brilliant artist. And I know he'd work with me and all my neuroses.) 


Because I doubt very seriously that when your main character looks like this:

And the author looks like this:

...most publishing companies would laugh and say, "Aren't you cute to try and get your 7 year-old's school project published?"


Sigh.

The Post My Husband Has Been Waiting For

A few days ago, Brian decided he was going to run for a haircut and grab us some lunch on the way home. Never one to turn down Chick-Fil-A, I was on board with that idea. He kissed me goodbye and sailed out the door.


I totally expected waffle fries within the hour.


Two hours later, and still, no Brian. I was beginning to wonder if the cows had shown up for a sit-in when my phone rang.


B: Hey, babe. Sorry I'm taking so long.
A: Where are you? Was there a line or something?
B: No, but...
A: Did they accidentally cut off one of your ears?
B: No, but...
A: It was a sit-in, wasn't it? I KNEW it. Were their signs all misspelled and grammatically incorrect?
B: What?
A: I'm sorry. Please continue.
B: Well, I'd already stopped to get our food, and on the way home I noticed a little old couple with a flat tire. So, I stopped to help.
A: *Silent Swoon.*
B: So, your waffle fries may be a little cold. I hope that's ok.


I'm so proud to be his wife.


And so, ladies and gentlefolks, I'd like to introduce you to my husband.

Saint Brian---Patron Saint of Awesomeness

As it turns out, the little old man didn't just have a flat tire, he'd run up on the curb and bent up the frame as well. Bri had a bit of a time getting the thing off to begin with, and he even scraped his knuckles in the process. (Insert AWWWW here.) But this didn't slow my super-hero husband down. No sirree. He just kept going till that couple had a donut on their car and were on their merry way.


They tried to pay him. He refused. But she still gave him five bucks.


Truly, my husband does things that make me fall in love with him all over again on a regular basis. This is just one of many.


My heart also swells when he uses the Walmart buggy as a scooter and grins like a 10 year old. I always half-expect him to say "WEEEEE!"


Sometimes, when he thinks no one is watching, he'll have a snuggle moment with one of our cats. With baby talk and the whole nine. And it makes me melt.


And when I'm sick, or have a migraine, and I just can't seem to get motivated, it's amazing how my always-busy, have-to-study, no-free-time-to-spare husband always manages to finish the laundry/answer the phone/feed the cats/cover me with an afghan when I fall asleep/hand feed me grapes (not really). 


But it's really those small acts of selflessness, those moments that don't necessarily present themselves on a regular basis, when someone else needs a hand, that Brian automatically, without thought, jumps in to save the day....those moments make me proud to have married such a wonderful person.


He's gonna be the World's Greatest Nurse. I guess he'll have to find some room for that trophy, to go alongside his Husband of the Universe plaque, and the enormous You Make Me So Proud balloons I got him the other day...


(Ok, honey, I think they know how wonderful you are now. How'd I do?)


Edit: Further proof that my husband truly IS the Patron Saint of Awesomeness.....

A Continuation of Yesterday's Comic

So yesterday, I mentioned that I had been invited to be a guest author over on The Katnip Lounge. 


You may not have noticed because it may have been, possibly, potentially, lost in the rant that was my post yesterday.


In case you missed it, make sure you venture on over and read my guest blog before you read today's blog.


I'm sending a really big THANK YOU to Tricia, author of The Lounge, for offering to let me launch my official FatKat Comic Strip on her blog. As promised, here is part 2 of Scooter's Magic Show. Enjoy.


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *


Sigh. I'm beginning to wonder what I won't do for a laugh.


You laughed, right?

I hope so. Because it's slightly disturbing to Photoshop my cat's head from his body. Sorry, Pip.


As mentioned in the last panel, I will be starting a weekly FatKat Comic Strip, to be posted every Sunday. There was such a huge response to the Birthday Blog I did for Scooter, particularly from my followers from The FatKat Kronicles, I decided to bring the boys back.


Well, at least once a week.


It'll be great! I swear!

A Reenactment, A Dramatic Story, and a Guest Post

For those readers who checked in on me over the weekend, I thank you. Truly, I am fine, and as you can see, AbbyGabs is back up and running.


For those who didn't email, call, or send fruit baskets, let me just say that Saturday was, to this date, the most traumatic day for me as a blog author, ever.


I came to my computer, preparing to write a rather genius blog (to come Wednesday) and found, to my absolute horror, that AbbyGabs was nowhere to be found.


It went something like this:






(If you can't see the video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9reJhCZw7QQ)


Well, at least that's what happened at first. I'll spare you the shouting, cursing, fist-shaking, nervous breakdown, etc. Oh, and the close-up of me crying, reminiscent of the infamous Blair Witch Project scene.


As you probably know, while AbbyGabs is its own domain, it is powered through Blogger....which is powered through Google. (You may already see where this is going, so feel free to shake your head in consternation as I continue this story.)


When I noticed there was a problem with my site, I immediately went looking for help from the pros. There is no way to contact Google, or Blogger, directly (which took me an hour to find out) so I headed for the help forums. I noticed there were a few similar complaints on the forum, so I checked in with them first. They weren't receiving much help from said "HELP" forum, so we started bantering back and forth, trying to troubleshoot our own problem.


I also posted a "HELP ME BEFORE I HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN" thread for my own humble little blog.


An hour in, we still hadn't heard from any of the moderators. Meanwhile, more and more people were creeping in with the same issue. 


That issue was this: when we went to our domains, using any browser available to man, we received the message that "www.thatwebsite.com" cannot be found. Cache copies were available, but we couldn't open the domains. 


Consequently, I couldn't open their domains and they couldn't open mine.


However, friends and family and my therapist all said my blog was perfectly visible to them.


HUH?


So....back to the forums. At approximately 11 am (2 hours, 2 very large cups of coffee, and a handful of diazepams later....)(just kidding) I finally had a response from a moderator, who we'll call Blogger Nazi for the purposes of this post.


Was the response from Blogger Nazi helpful, kind, or in anyway relevant?


No. 


He said, "If you want my help, please remove any posts from this forum that are unnecessary, confusing, or inflammatory."


That left me incensed. And baffled, considering my responses in other threads were basically, "Me, too!" and "Hey, what a coincidence!" and "I don't think there's a way to contact Google directly."


But, being desperate for help, I complied with Mr. Douchebag's Blogger Nazi's request. 


Then, for the next 2 hours, he decided to dump link after link after link to his "Here's How To Fix Your Blog" blog, filled with techno-speak that you need a degree to understand. He kept asking me the same questions over and over and over again, asking for clarifications, for me to be "specific" and "less emotional" in my responses. He kept insisting that my blog wasn't down, because he could see it, and that it was obviously an error in my part since clearly, I'm a newbie and an idiot and I have no idea what I'm talking about.


Until I sent him about 15 links to other bloggers who were having the same problem.


That shut him up, and quick.


When the mob arrived brandishing pitch forks and lit torches, Blogger Nazi finally compiled a list of complaints and turned them in to Blogger.


Who turned them in to Google.


Who turned them in to GoDaddy.com.


And THEN we found out that, in fact, it wasn't an isolated incident, but it was an issue with GoDaddy all along. Apparently, there was a large DDOS attack in two of their data centers.


I have no idea what a DDOS attack is...sounds like something from World of Warcraft to me. 

Aww...cute little orcs, aren't they?

At any rate, GoDaddy cleaned up all the dragons and beasties, and now my site is back up and running.


No thanks to Captain Jerkface Blogger Nazi.


Well, sort of thanks to him, but he could've just lodged a complaint without being so mean. He called my blog superfluous. SUPERFLUOUS. Can you believe that??? 


I should send my orc pals after him.


Anyway, during all the chaos, I got a lot of help and support...and even got an amazing offer to do a guest post for my friend, Tricia, at her blog, The Katnip Lounge! She was a fan of The FatKat Kronicles, and I've gotten a lot of requests to bring Scoot and his pals back....so, I'm kicking off my soon-to-launch weekly FatKat comic strip over at the Lounge today! So, head on over to The Katnip Lounge to read my very first Guest Post!! It will make me forget all about Saturday's debacle.


Almost....

HELP

Apparently my blog is down.

And I'm a weeping, hysterical mess.

And my husband had to go to work early, so he's no help.

And I can't find anyone to help me on google.

HELP!

New AbbyGabs Ad Campaign

As a writer, the sole thing you're yearning for is an audience. I have the voice, I have the forum, and I have the Photoshop...but I'm struggling with promoting my blog and attracting new readers.


My loyal readers (you know who you are....Mom....) are wonderful and I adore you all!! I just want MORE readers. I want people to talk about me over lunch somewhere in Iowa. I want my blog to be a "big deal' in the blogosphere.


So, I'm working on my promotion skills. I tweet (although I'm still rather new at it, and I find aspects of Twitter very confusing.) I also Facebook (which I'm much more familiar with, although, funnily enough, I have fewer followers there than on Twitter right now). I also talk about my blog to the point of annoyance, I'm sure. And my husband, sweet man that he is, also shoves my blog to the forefront of most any discussion.


Most of my followers are friends and family. Which is TERRIFIC. Now, I just need to reach a broader audience.


So, here are a few ideas I'm kicking around for a new AbbyGabs Ad Campaign.

Me, a sandwich board, a bell, and a busy mall food court. Cheap and effective.

A plethora of enticing items for your vehicle...

Bus ads can't be THAT expensive....can they?

I've always dreamed of seeing my name in lights in the Big Apple...

Hey, go big or go home, right?

Ok, I'm tapped out. Anyone else have any bright ideas when it comes to promoting my blog?

Thursday Grab Bag

I have a couple of things on my mind I'd like to share today, but none of them are profound enough for an entire AbbyGabs. So, I've decided to make it a Grab Bag Post. Shake it up and take your pick--you're getting three whole topics today!


First and foremost, I'd like to promote myself share an exciting opportunity with you! As you know, I sell jewelry on etsy (if you didn't know that, I guess you missed the giant BUY MY STUFF store gadget immediately to the right of this post, and the tab that's dedicated solely to my entrepreneurial status) and I'm proud to also be a member of the South Carolina Etsy Street Team. In fact, I'm an administrator of the team! I spend a lot of time writing blogs, writing the team newsletter, and putting together promotions to get our team noticed. 


Well, dear reader, we're having a superbly-awesome promotion right now, in the form of a contest! If you like to win cool stuff, this contest is for you. It's really easy to enter, and you can win cool stuff. (Have I said the words "easy" and "win" enough yet?) Seriously, if you participate in this EASY contest, you will WIN prizes. 


Honestly, everyone who participates (and follows all the rules correctly) wins a shopping spree with participating team shops. WOW! You can also enter to win the grand prize, which is a basket filled with goodies donated from some of our team members. It is currently sitting in my crafting closet, and let me tell ya, there are a number of things for the basket that I wish I could keep for myself. The loot is THAT GOOD.


So, visit our team blog, read all about how to participate, and jump right in. Alternately, if you don't have the time or inclination to enter an EASY contest where you can WIN awesome prizes, feel free to pass along the link to anyone you think would enjoy the game.


Okay, topic one, DONE. Onto topic two.


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *


When I dreamed up the concept of AbbyGabs, my main objective was to allow myself to be creative.


The other was to finally indulge myself in my favorite secret hobby.


NO! Not that....

Photoshop.


Never did I imagine that my Photoshopping talent would ever be realized, even touted, by a fellow blogger. Especially not my favorite blogger, Alex from Late Enough. (She really is my favorite--I even have her button at the top of my Blogs I L♥ve list.) But yesterday, when she put out a request for an awesomely Photoshopped face band aid, I immediately felt the need to assist.


Plus, I got to use Photoshop. Which I love to do. A lot.


So, venture on over to Late Enough and see my Photoshop awesomeness as it is being featured today on her blog. (My father-in-law is going to be SO JEALOUS!!!)


Ok, onto final topic of the day.


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *


Technology is a wonderful thing. I have a serious love-affair going on with my Droid 2 Global. Seriously. It's almost as serious as my not-so-secret crush on Donnie Wahlberg, but not as serious as my Photoshop obsession. Let me set up some framework for this story...


This isn't my first smart phone. I'm ashamed to admit my first smart phone was a Blackberry. (Feel free to throw things at me now. I deserve it.) It almost ruined my smart phone experience. I actually had THE conversation with my husband leading up to the upgrade that changed my life.


You know, THE conversation about wanting to switch back to JustAPhone.


Eesh. I can't believe I ever felt that way.


Anyway, back to my Droid, there is absolutely nothing that I don't love about it. I love the shiny blue cover, I love the interface (which is SO easy to use), I love the apps (especially Mahjong...WORD), I just love, love, love it.


I even love the challenges that Swype presents.


For those who don't have a phone with a touch screen, I'm so sorry. Also, Swype is a new way to input text. You don't have to punch every single letter---you "swipe" your finger from the first letter of the word, into each letter of the word, until it is complete. 


It is awesome.


Although, I will say, the auto correct is challenging. 


What do I mean by auto correct?


Well, if you aren't 100% precise on the word you Swype, the software guesses what word you were going for. Sometimes, it gives you several options of what it thinks the word might be. Other times, it just puts a word in place for you, whether that's the word you meant or not.


As a writer (and therefore a proofreader/editor/obsessive compulsive spell checker) I cannot STAND to send anything that isn't punctuated properly, with the correct capitalization, and spelled perfectly. Don't even get me started on missing apostrophes. I don't even tend to use those trendy text abbreviations (except LOL....I picked up LOL in college and it still plagues me to this day.)


So, I spend a lot of time correcting the auto-corrections.


But, it's challenging. Fun, even. I've gotten my fair share of chuckles at un-edited Swyped text.


For instance, here is a faux text message that I would never have sent because it has WAY too many typos, hence why it's "faux."


Get babe. I was hoping roy could pick up sime milk on the eat home from class house. We te ritually out. Also, grt sime confab cheese for dinner. I thought e had sime but as out turns out, we doing. Thanks! Hope you had a super fantastical dst!! Love, your spend wife


It's a good thing there's not a red pen nearby. I can tell I'm going to have serious problems publishing this. (Grinding my teeth isn't helping.) Ok...pushing forward.


First of all, who the hell is roy? Also, does anyone have a definition for confab cheese? Because apparently, I'm ritually out of it. 


Oy vey.


What this text message should say is this:


Hey babe. I was hoping you could pick up some milk on the way home from class today. We are totally out. Also, get some parmesan cheese for dinner. I thought we had some but as it turns out, we don't. Thanks! Hope you had a super fantastical day! Love, your sweet wife


(OCD pressure gage now going down....)


One day, I'm going to write an ENTIRE entry of AbbyGabs with Swype, and then leave it up to your interpretation. Now THAT would be a hoot.

Yesterday Was My Cat's Birthday

In my house, we take birthdays very seriously. We have an annual contest to see who wins the "gold medal" for being the first to wish the birthday boy (or girl) a many happy returns. It's competitive. Cutthroat, even. I've been known to write blogs and sing songs just to try and trump the person who inevitably beat me in the well-wishing.


I hate to lose.


So when one of our cats' birthdays rolls around, they get the special treatment, too.


There is at least a week's worth of planning that goes into each feline's special day. Gift buying, meal planning. Then there's the media assault plan that has to go into place. It's like planning strategy for a war. Who's gonna take stills, and who's gonna take video? Placement of birthday tuna fish dinner in the right lighting, with no other kitty interruptions. To candle, or not to candle? 


Yesterday, our fuzzy-and-adorable-and-orange-and-floofy Scooter turned three.

The candle may not have been the best idea we ever had, but the one-shot memory was worth a few singed whiskers and a freaked out birthday boy....right?

Scoot came into our lives after the devastating loss of our kitten, Eddie. It's true what they say---that a new love can heal the loss of an old love. Scooter immediately captured our hearts, and was eventually the inspiration behind another blog I used to write, The FatKat Kronicles. And what they say about orange tabby cats is really true---they have SO MUCH PERSONALITY. Scooter constantly has us laughing and reaching for our cameras.


So much so, that's he's really got the whole "Stop-and-pose-cuz-Mom's-got-the-flashy-box-again" thing down pat.

"Cuz I'm the MOST adorable mancat, ever."

We also have the annual "Get-Squished-By-Mommy-In-A-Commemorative-Birthday-Portrait" pictures:

Scooter, Age 3, looking mighty perturbed.

And the "Just-Keep-Eating-Even-Though-Mom-Has-The-Camera-Shoved-In-My-Face-Because-She-Likes-The-Slurpy-Noise-I-Make" birthday video:








You know, just your Basic Birthday Barrage.


Ooh...that would be the perfect name for a party planning company....maybe I should go into business.


Also, if I ever get around to having children, someone should warn them. ASAP. Because if I'm this fanatical about my pets' birthdays, my children are going to be traumatized by my OCD, everything needs to be perfect, "DID YOU GET THAT SHOT????," celebration compulsions.


Is there a 12-step program for that?

Let's Pretend We're 8 Again...

Let's rewind to our childhoods momentarily, shall we? Remember "do-overs?" Like, when you were playing freeze tag with your friends, and Jimmy tagged your shirt. You SWEAR you never felt him touch you, but he swears he grazed your shirt. Rather than punching Jimmy in the face, you would dutifully shout "DO-OVER!," and everyone would be appeased by this resolution of events. 

There was never any questioning. Fighting about "Do-Overs" broke the childhood code. It was just generally accepted that, if one person requested a "Do-Over," that "Do-Over" was granted, no questions asked.

Well I'd like to propose that we institute a "Do-Over" system for adults. Same principals, same phrase, different construct of difficulties. 

And it all starts with the Do-Over Button:

Staples, you had the right idea. Just the wrong phrase.

Just imagine what this little invention could do for us as grown-ups. Scenario #1: You accidentally forget to call your friend on her birthday. Oopsie.

Do-Over! Because I love you and the day you were born!!

Scenario #2: You have one chance, ONE CHANCE, to impress a potential new friend/client/date, and somehow, in a matter of nano-seconds, you manage to insult his/her religion, political beliefs, and grandmother with one sentence. No sweat....

I'm a really nice person. I swear. I don't know WHY I said that...

Scenario #3: Someone says, "Who was your favorite New Kid?" and you say, "Jordan Knight, although Donnie Wahlberg is my favorite now. You know, I still have the cds, and the buttons, and the posters, and the shoe strings. I even still have my Jordan doll...although I think we donated the sheets and the sleeping bag when I turned 16. You know, I had an alarm clock, too, come to think of it....."

I'm only ashamed because I didn't pick Donnie when I was 8.

Seriously, there are a TON of things I can think of that I wish I could Do-Over. I'd have majored in something more useful, I'd stop myself from gaining all this weight, I'd have really made a serious attempt at getting published....

And I DEFINITELY would've picked Donnie to be my favorite New Kid.

The real reason I need a Do-Over Button.

Picture of Donnie Wahlberg source. Cuz as much as I wish it were true, I have not met him and therefore, have never photographed him. Or kissed him, which makes me sad.

An Official Abby Gabs Birthday Celebration

Don your party hats and dust off your dancing shoes....it's my Father-in-Law's birthday today!!

Because everyone deserves a dancing banana on their birthday...

Here are five things you probably don't know about my FIL, Walt:

#1: He's a blog author, too! He's been writing a blog for as long as I've known him, and The Lucky Puppy was a major inspiration for me to start my own blog. You'll have to drop by and visit him sometime. **Warning** This blog is not for kids! Be prepared for a lot of political discussion, dirty jokes, and a strange sense of humor. But, it's why we love him so.

#2: Walt and I are as different politically as two people can possibly be. He thinks I'm a dirty tree-hugging liberal hippie. I think he's a fanatical right-wing extremist. It makes for heated debates, that's for sure. But when it comes right down to it, I think we're both a little closer to the middle than we let on. (Shhh....don't tell him I said that. He'll think it's a conspiracy and somehow link it to how the Democrats are brainwashing women under the age of 35 into believing that Republicans are the Devil.)

#3: I'm just guessing, here, but I'm assuming he likes it when people sing to him. So, on three, ladies and gents....One, two, THREE:

(My confusion with technology just makes this video funnier. Also, I couldn't figure out how to edit it out....)


#4: Walt once gave me advice that shaped my life, and my marriage. The force is strong with this one.


#5: All kidding aside, Walt has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He's always willing to drop everything when you need him, he gives the best long-distance pep talks in the world, and he loves his kids more than anything else in his life. People always tell you that when you get married, it's a package deal. Well, I can honestly say that Brian's Dad is a true gift, and I'm glad I got to add him to my family when I married his son.


Love ya, Dad!

Because it's not a true Abby Gabs' Birthday without some Photoshop...

The Best Advice I Ever Received

No matter who you are, someone in your life has, at some point, given you some advice.


Don't chew with your mouth full.
Be nice to people and they'll be nice to you.
Never cross the street on your hands--it's illegal in 4 states.


Most of the time, you nod and smile and think, "I already knew that, but thanks." 


Sometimes, though...sometimes it's the kind of advice that changes your life.


I've been in exactly 5 serious relationships, including my marriage. For the most part, the boys I dated (and I say boys because I met my husband while we were still in college, so these relationships took place while I was a kid) were nice boys. They treated me well enough, and each one taught me valuable lessons to take into life.


My High School Sweetheart taught me to love earnestly, with my whole heart. He also taught me about heart break.


My Musician taught me to live in the moment, and to enjoy life as it comes. He also taught me to pine.


My Best Friend taught me to dream a little, and plan a little. He also taught me what it feels like to have the rug pulled out from beneath your feet.


Then there was The Jerk. I think every girl dates at least one, and The Jerk stole most of my sophomore year of college from me. He taught me to be mistrustful, but he also taught me how to take up for myself. And eventually, how to walk away.


Each relationship, each lesson, put me in a place to be ready for that one big Love that came my way. It prepared me to love My Husband with my whole heart, earnestly and completely, without giving up my own identity. 


I thank each of them for that.


A few years later, as My Husband and I prepared for our wedding, advice started coming out of the woodwork.


Never go to bed angry.
Don't bring up the past when you fight.
It's not okay to call your spouse a cotton-headed ninny muggins.


I can't tell you how many people said the same thing to us. "The first year of marriage is ALWAYS the hardest. If you make it through that first year, you'll make it through ANYTHING!"


We weren't worried. We went into our nuptials with confidence, never wavering. As we stood on the beach, hand in hand, with the sun setting behind us, the rest of the world disappeared. I never expected it to be like that---movie epic good---but it really was, for me. There was a moment, standing on the dunes with my parents, just before they gave me away, when I felt my face break and the tears well up, and for that fleeting moment, I thought I would cry. And then I thought, "No, don't miss this." And I didn't. Not a single second was missed, and I was beaming from the "Dearly Beloved" to "You may kiss the bride."


A few days after we were married, my brand new father-in-law took us aside and sat us down for "the talk." (Not "the birds and the bees" one, the "you just got married and here's the wisdom I'd like to pass down" one.)


He told us that we would face times of trouble. It's inevitable, everyone does. He prepared us for money woes and growing pains and silly disagreements. And along with it all, he gave me the most profound advice I have ever received.


"No matter how noisy life gets, don't be afraid to turn down the volume and focus on the most important thing of all----each other."


It may not seem like much, it may not shake you down to your foundation, but this has become our Marriage Mantra. If everybody else's problems start to bog us down, we disconnect from the world, shut it down for a few hours (or a few days) and just focus on our relationship. When real life gets too real, too scary, too much to handle, we regroup and refocus on each other. We constantly remind each other how lucky we are, and that as bad as we think it is, there are people in the world who don't have what we have. And for that, we are always grateful.


This advice has gotten us through those money woes, and those growing pains, and those silly disagreements that my father-in-law warned us about. It got us through B deciding to go back to school. It's helped us deal with our fertility problems, and the fact that, after almost 7 years of marriage, we still haven't started a family. 


It got us through cancer.


So now, whenever a friend announces they're getting married, or they're having a baby, or they're facing new life complications, I always pass along the seed that my father-in-law planted. Because it has truly shaped our lives, our love, and our relationship. And it has grown into the bedrock of our marriage.