Woooooo! Zzzzz...

Where in the cotton-pickin' world have I been lately?

Good question, readers.

You see, I've had a lot of folks ask me just what takes so darn long between one post and another. Well, folks, there are a couple of answers for the time lapse as of late. And they are as follows:

I've been busy decorating for Christmas.

Because what's the point of having a New Kids on the Block shelf
if I don't get to decorate it with tiny Santa hats and a teeny tree?

I've been blowin' up Pinterest with fun and festive holiday ideas.

Because we're so broke, everyone in my family will be lucky
to get these candles instead of a pair of socks for Christmas this year!

I've been helping Brian plan for his big graduation from nursing school on 12/12/12.

He has to wear a tux,  y'all!!!

I've been wishing my pal, Arielle, a happy birthday in a most-Laverne inspired way.

Arielle is a Leo girl all the way (particularly Leonardo Circa Titanic.)

I think that about covers it. I mean, that's how I've been spending most of my free time. But I feel like there was something else....

...oh, right, I've been WRITING A BOOK SINCE NOVEMBER 1st!

That's right! I did it! I completed the 50,000 words necessary to win NaNoWriMo 2012. Paired with last year's half-manuscript, I now have almost 250 pages worth of book. I don't know about you, but that's a serious reason to throw around confetti.

The only problem? Things have been so busy (and stressful) around here lately that I haven't had much time to really think about my major accomplishment. I actually finished Nano on Monday, after an 11,000 word marathon on Saturday afternoon. (Yes, I actually meant to include that many zeros.) I finalized my word count, posted on Facebook that I was all finished, and then promptly went to sleep.

Hence, my big celebratory WOOHOO!!! moment was actually more like WooZZzzzzzz.....

But the good news is that now that I've wrapped up the intense writing of NaNo, it frees me up to start blogging regularly again. Hooray for December! And oh, boy do I have some awesome posts coming up.

(None of which are as awesome as the one my friend, Leslie, wrote over on The Bearded Iris today. Especially if you're a fan of Dancing with the Stars. Seriously. If you need a laugh, go read it. I promise. It's awesome.)

So bust out the signs, readers! Balloons are welcome, too! And if there are enough of you to line up and do the wave, I'd be most appreciative. Because I am officially a NaNoWriMo 2012 Winner!!!

Bring On The Turkey!

"What are you thankful for this year?" I asked my husband today.

"My loving wife," he said, tongue in cheek. "The fact that nursing school is almost over. Supportive friends and family...I'm thankful for new beginnings."

Isn't he so sweet, y'all?

I have to agree with him (especially about the loving wife part. Except insert "husband" where "wife" is, and we've got a winner.) But there are a few...unique things that I'm thankful for this year, other than the usual. And what's the point of having a blog if you can't write about them (in list form)?

I am thankful for...
...the gift of humor.
I like to laugh. A lot. Most days, I laugh at myself, my husband, my cats, my friends, and my television. Sometimes, I just laugh at life in general. (And usually, I document it all here, for you to see.)

...my godchildren.
It's a brand new shiny thing--one that I've never been able to say until this year. But knowing that there are two adorable little ones, just a relatively short drive away, that I'll get to spoil outrageously as they grow up...well, that just gives me the Warm-and-Fuzzies. I love those little babies to bits.

...social media.
That may seem to be a shallow thing to some, but social media has opened up a whole new world of communication for me. I've honed my stalker skills, made some amazing new friends, and gifted myself with a voice solely my own. Tell me that's not something to be thankful for!

...my fuzzy, four-legged children.
When you're all by your lonesome most of the time, it's nice to have a soft kitty, a warm kitty to come sit on your lap. Those little balls of fur own my heart. My house is full of happy, sleepy kitties, and they all like to purr. (If you don't recognize the lyrics I just ripped off of Sheldon Cooper, then your nerd card is revoked, people.) I am also HUGELY grateful that they are all over the stomach bug they passed around for the better part of a month! Yay for no more cat puke!

...having the time to hone my skills as a writer.
I know that, if my life were any different than it is at this moment, I might not have the time to be working on my very first novel. And so, I will be grateful that I have this opportunity, and hope that it will lead to future opportunities down the road.

...wine, chocolate, and other stimulants that make life fun.
I'm particularly looking forward to the apple cider sangria we will be enjoying with our turkey and our stuffing today.

...and lastly...I am thankful for Photoshop.
Because without it, I couldn't wish you a Happy Thanksgiving in a traditional, Abby Gabs sort of way.

Enjoy the pumpkin pie, y'all!! 

Twenty Questions--An Abby Gabs Video Blog

I wanted to do a video blog, but I couldn't think of anything funny to talk about. So, I turned to the internet and asked my friends, family and readers to ask me their most burning questions (about me.) You asked, I answered. Here's the (incredibly long) video blog I promised. Thanks to all who submitted questions!





If you can't see my video, point your browser here:  http://youtu.be/U9L8V8QaJUc

Walt's video blog can be found here: http://youtu.be/nRuVF_P4STE

HUGE thanks goes out to Brian because if it weren't for him, you wouldn't be viewing this video at all. You rock my socks, babe.

My, How The Times Are A-Changin'...

Tomorrow is Sunday. It will be November 18, 2012. I'm telling you this now, so that you can mark your calendars after you read this blog post. Why, you ask? Because tomorrow afternoon, something so momentous, so stupendous, so serendipitous is happening that it should be documented fully.

Let me explain.

Tomorrow, I will be taking my husband to be fitted for a tuxedo.

That's right. You read that correctly.

Why is this such a major event in the life of the Abby Gabs household? Well, dear reader, there are two reasons. Number one: We have to rent said tux for Brian to wear to his nursing graduation next month. It's a big deal. We'll be havin' a party, ya'll.

But the second, more important reason that I'm blogging about the menial task of renting my husband a tuxedo is the real reason behind this blog. You see, my husband has a uniform. He wears it practically every day. That uniform consists of jeans, sneakers, and a myriad of nerdy t-shirts.

On any given day, he looks like this:

Now, most men share this trait. They like to knock around the house in jeans and a tee. Perhaps they'll wear this outfit to the grocery store, or out to a movie.

However, Brian's uniform has always been deemed appropriate attire for all occasions. For instance, here is Brian on any date night:

Special occasions don't often change this trend. A birthday dinner with friends? Same clothes. An evening of (forced) fun at the theater? Same clothes. Our anniversary dinner at a 4-star restaurant in Charleston?

Yep, you guessed it.

In fact, my husband is so entrenched in his fashion sense that he flat-out refused to wear a tie OR a vest to our wedding.

And so, you can imagine my glee at hearing the news that all men graduating with the nursing program in 2012 are required to wear a tux.

Not just any tux, mind you. But a SOLID. WHITE. TUX.

Oh, sweet justice.

And can you guess what I'll be wearing to the tux store tomorrow, dear friends?

Yes I will. And I will enjoy it thoroughly.

Can Someone Pass a Paper Bag?

For those of you who are my regular readers, I'm guessing you've probably noticed that the number of illustrated posts here on Abby Gabs has increased exponentially in the last several weeks. There are a few different reasons for that: #1) they're fun. #2) they make my husband laugh. #3) did I mention that they're fun?

However, I have a slight confession to make. There's another underlying reason why you've been seeing THIS Abby:

Instead of THIS Abby:

And I can sum it up in two mean and ugly words.

Here's the rub--I had perfect skin as a teenager. I was thin, beautiful, popular, and my skin was the envy of adolescents everywhere. Sure, I had the occasional flare up--a zit on my chin before homecoming, a flourish of blackheads along my hairline--but they were easily managed with a little Noxema and some Cover Girl concealer.  A day or two later, and it was as if it never happened.

I was lucky enough that my ability to grow zit-resistant skin followed me into my 20s, and even the first year of my 30s. But the day I turned 31? My pores decided to wage war against me. And it hasn't been a pretty battle. The difference between my 16-year-old skin and my 31-year-old skin? Well...it's led to some pretty drastic measures.

If only wearing a bag over my head in public was really a valid option. I've got a couple of really cute canvas totes that would work quite nicely.

The truth is that I'm new at this fight against acne. I didn't deal with it as a kid, and now I'm learning all the ins-and-outs to getting rid of blackheads. (Note: lemon juice, Elmer's glue, and egg whites don't work. Sonic screwdrivers will be used as a last resort.)

Brian says I'm too hard on myself. That my skin isn't as bad as I think it is, and that I need to stop obsessing over my face. He's sweet, and supportive, and all the other things a wonderful husband should be. 

But he's wrong.

Because you see, when you've always had pretty skin, it's hard to get used to waking up in the morning to a new patch of blemishes who appear to have camped out on your face over night. 

And so, until I win this war that I'm waging, or at least gain a little bit of a lead, you'll be seeing illustrated Abby pretty frequently. Otherwise, any photos of myself published on the blog will look more like this:

...is that better?

I Know, I Know...

...I promised you I was going to keep posting on a regular basis, even though NaNoWriMo has me super-busy. And I haven't kept that promise. I'm a bad Abby.

The truth is, this week hasn't been conducive to much writing at all. Rather than telling you about the week I've had, I'd like to show you instead.

My Week In Pictures

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

And when I haven't been cleaning up a flooded kitchen, exercising my civic duty, tending to a sick (but healing) cat, and celebrating a random weeknight with girlfriends, I've been...well, you know...

Believe me when I say, I miss you, too, readers. Now that the weekend is upon me, I have a TON of catching up to do. I'm really behind with NaNo, so I'll be spending my free time in the next few days scrambling to add to my word count. So...I guess I'll be seeing you guys on Monday.

No, really. I promise. I'll be here Monday.

Unless another pipe bursts. 

Three Movie References, An Old School TV Reference, and a Potential Million-Dollar Invention

I have been a proud iPhone 5 user for about two weeks now. And it is everything I'd hoped for and more. I feel like Oprah with my ever-growing list of favorite things. 

1) The organizational capabilities on this phone make my little OCD heart sing. Folders on the desktop?? Are you KIDDING ME? It's almost as good as color coded tabbies!

2) Music. Music music music. Not only does my awesome phone have enough space to hold my ENTIRE (and HUGE) iTunes collection, but I also have Spotify AND Pandora for those days when I want to rock out to some 80s tunes that Brian refuses to let me buy. (He has a thing against Paula Abdul and Martika. Not sure why. Something about how their voices feel like a cheese grater on his face. More on that another time.) 

3) Holy Apps Batman. I never had so many apps on any of my previous phones. I only downloaded the necessities. I never DREAMED I could have 2 music apps, 4 news apps, 3 weather apps, eleven photo-manipulating apps, and 4 games, all on the same device. When I turn my iPhone on every morning, I'm surprised my head doesn't explode from all the apps. What do I do first?!?!?!? Find out my new word of the day, play Trace, or read the NPR headlines?!?

4) Siri and I are BFFs. No, really. You may think that Siri is your BFF, but she's just frontin', cuz she loves me more. We've already collaborated on dinner dates, new book ideas, meal plans and driving directions. She gets me. She really gets me.

5) It's fast, I get terrific reception everywhere, I've never dropped a call, and it's fast. Did I mention it's fast. It's lickety-split, super-dooper, Speedy-Gonzales fast.

And where there are 5 reasons for the love affair I'm currently having with my iPhone, there are about a million more. I kinda feel a little like Maria Von Trapp...

In truth, there's only been one thing about my phone that it less-than-amazeballs. And it has nothing to do with the phone. 

I have developed this strange tick, if you will...an overwhelming emotion of over-protectiveness when it comes to my beloved iPhone. I've never been that way before, with any technological goody. Want to play with my $600 Canon? Sure, have at it. Think you might like to toodle with my crazy-expensive Alienware desktop computer? Download whatever you want. It's cool. Oh, did you drop my Droid on the concrete there? No biggie. Rub some dirt in it, it'll be fine.

But when it comes to the safety of my iPhone, I morph from "Abby of Sweetness and Light" to "Abby, Gollum's Twin Sister."

It started the day after I got my phone. I had it plugged in safely by the couch, in the same place I've been charging phones now for about 8 years. Everything was fine and dandy, until I noticed that my phone was in perilous danger.

Is that an obscure "Lost in Space" reference? Why, yes. Yes it is.

I immediately moved my water glass, shooed the cat away, and moved my phone into the safety of my own pocket. Whew. Crises averted.

A little while later, phone still secure in my pocket, I headed outside to check the mail box. I stuck my hand into my pocket to check on My Precious, and that's when I had another epiphany...what if my phone fell OUT of my pocket, unawares, and smashed down onto the asphalt? The Horror!! So I took it out of my pocket, and clutched it between my breasts like it was a life preserver, and I was one of the last passengers to escape the Titanic.

I was appalled at myself. Surprised at my reactions. I chastised myself and swore I wouldn't let it happen again.

But it did. About eleventy-hundred more times over the last 12 days: When handing it to a friend to inspect (they might drop it), when shooting video at the fair (someone might steal it), when finally moving it to charge in the bedroom--which offered all new hazards to my phone's health--and even when using it as a make-shift cook book in the kitchen.

Oy vey. Just thinking about how many times I could have dropped it in the sink while listening to Taylor Swift while brushing my teeth makes my heart flip over in my chest.

My goal in life now is to learn how to treat it like a phone instead of the Holy Grail. But I'm struggling with it, ya'll. I'm THISCLOSE to searching the internet for a Baby Bjorn-like device so I can keep my phone safe all day long.

Hey. That might work.

An Announcement, A Rabbit That Looks Like My Cat, and A Little Disco (For Funsies)

First and foremost, the formalities...

You will notice that Abby Gabs has been magically transformed over night. That's right---this writer is ready to jump head first into National Novel Writing Month, and I figured giving my blog (and Twitter profile, and Facebook page) a serious makeover would help keep me in the spirit all November long. For those who have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about, you can learn all about NaNoWriMo on their glorious website, or you can click on the handy-dandy tab above titled "Chasing My Dreams."

I will try to post here as frequently as usual, and will probably not write about NaNo (much,) so if you're curious as to my progress, you can check out the Word Count graphic to the left. It'll tell you how many words I've written. May I ask, dear Reader, if it gets to be November 15, and that number hasn't reached 5 digits yet, that you gift me a swift kick in the arse? (Or perhaps a gentle nudge, depending on your mood?) A million thanks in advance.

Now that I've reminded you that I'll be hunched over my keyboard, striving for brilliance, for the next 30 days, I'd like to share with you a few highlights from our visit to the Coastal Carolina Fair last evening.

First of all, it was a night of Look Alikes. When we visited the petting zoo, I was shocked and amazed to see my cat, Scooter, there. Except....well, it wasn't a cat. It was a bunny. But he looked JUST LIKE Scooter. See?:

Photographic proof that I'm not crazy (despite my penchant for cooing at animals and children in a weird, high-pitched voice):

Then, as if the Scooter-Look-Alike Bunny wasn't enough, we sat down behind a young man who, I swear, looked JUST LIKE Detective Esposito (played by actor Jon Huertas) from the television show, Castle. So much so that I pulled up a picture of Huertas on my phone just so Brian could validate my claim. Throughout the entire concert (more on that in a minute) I kept elbowing Brian in the ribs, saying things like, "Holy crap, that guy looks like Espo!" and "I swear, he could be Esposito's twin!" Finally, I got up the nerve to talk to the young man, and because he was an awesomely good sport, I also secured more Photographic Evidence to prove to you that I'm NOT crazy:

Photo of Jon Huertas courtesy of this website

I don't know what was more surprising: that all he was missing was a tiny bit of facial hair, that he was totally cool with taking a goofy picture with me, or that he'd never seen or heard of the show Castle.

Crazy pants.

Anyhoo, the only reason we ventured out to the fair last night was because of a change in their scheduled entertainment. You see, The Village People were supposed to play. You know...these guys:

Yes, they still tour. And yes, they still dress up. Awesome. (Photo)

But unfortunately, due to Sandy, The Village People were stuck in New Jersey and would not be able to make it to their scheduled performance. <Insert "Aw Shucks" here.> And so, the very smart people in charge of the Coastal Carolina Fair put out feelers for a last minute replacement, and our hero, Edwin McCain, came to the rescue.

I've told you, without mincing words, that I'm absolutely in love with Edwin McCain. I've been following him since I was a sophomore in high school, and I've been to tons of concerts, and even a breast cancer awareness benefit. He is, without a shadow of a doubt, the author of my life's soundtrack. (Seriously, if you've never heard of him, find him on iTunes. You've probably heard the song "I'll Be" and don't even know it.) So naturally, when we caught wind that Edwin was going to perform in lieu of the People, we beat feet to the fairgrounds and took our seats front and center (behind Espo.)

About halfway through the show, there was a quiet moment when Edwin switched from an electric to an acoustic guitar. A gentleman in the audience took the opportunity to shout "PLAY YMCA!!!!" Edwin, always a good sport, laughed and started to make a joke. That's when his bass player, Jason Pomar, began free-styling the bass line of the popular 70s song. By the time drummer "Tez," saxophonist Craig and lead guitarist Larry has figured out the tune (which took less than 2 minutes), Edwin launched into the song, completely unrehearsed. And naturally, I got it ALL on tape:

So. Much. Fun. 

We've been to a ton of Edwin shows over the past 13 years, and this is, hands down, the funniest thing we've ever witnessed. (Sorry for the blip in the middle...blame the new iPhone user who accidentally hit the "stop" button. My bad.)

To recap: today marks the beginning of NaNoWriMo (if you'd like to donate coffee, email me here); I saw a rabbit that looked my cat, and a dude who looked like an actor; and Edwin McCain knows how to rock, disco style.

Happy Thursday!