Shhhh....

Be very, very quiet.


I'm crashing a study session.

From left to right, we have Fred's elbow, Arielle, Tammy's back, and Brian's back. Aren't they cute little nursing students?

See, I'm not a nursing student. I'm a nursing student's wife. Which means, I'm not supposed to be here.


But I'm here anyway.


Sitting in a mostly silent study center, hushed whispers and the smell of books and institution (you know that smell. You may not be able to think of it off the top of your head, but as soon as you walk into a school/library/public building, you'll immediately remember that smell.) I'm banging away on my keyboard, making more noise than the small group studying their hearts out.


And all in the name of blogging fun.


It's illegal. I'm even stealing their internet connection.


*giggle*

Christmas Traditions (The Abby Gabs Way)

It's that time of year again. The time of year when the older generations pass down Christmas traditions to the younger generations. Food, decorations, religious ceremony, ABC Family movie marathon: however you choose to celebrate is yours and yours alone. And what delight, to pass it along to the blossoming young pups, looking to soak it all up like sponges.


Well, readers, I have a few of my very own Christmas traditions. Some of them are what most would consider normal. Others....not so much. Today, I'd like to share them with you.

My Top Five Must Complete Before XMAS Traditions (In No Particular Order).

Number five: Purchase a brand new ornament for the tree.

It started out as just a fun way to pass an hour at the mall. Something that made Christmas solely ours, as a couple. We'd make a day of it: lunch out at our favorite restaurant, followed by a jaunt through a handful of stores, until an adorable ornament made us both smile, and that one would be our newest addition.

Then, about five years ago, I decided to take it a up a notch. Why not choose an ornament that holds meaning? One that, when we unwrap it ten years from now, will immediately solicit a memory from that year? It was perfect! An ornament that represents the most memorable thing that happened to us in a year! I'm a genius!

This makes ornament shopping a little more complicated. But so much more fulfilling.

In 2005, we bought a Carolina Panthers' snowman at Bank of America stadium, where Brian took me to my first ever professional football game. In 2006, we chose an angel with the inscription "Love isn't about who you live with, but who you cannot live without." In 2007--the year we went to Disney World--we picked an adorable pair to hang on our tree: Minnie and Mickey, Christmas shopping.  A cherubic angel holding a white kitten made the perfect addition in 2008--the year our cat, Eddie, passed away. 2009--another kitty ornament to celebrate the arrival of Scooter to our family. 

Last year I chose a solid glass ornament with a cancer awareness ribbon etched into it's surface. It seemed fitting.

This year, we're on the lookout for something scholastic. Perhaps a stack of books, or a pen and paper. This will commemorate Brian's first year of nursing school, as well as my own success at (finally) beginning to write. 

Number four: Celebrate with Sheldon, Leonard, and Penny.

It's not "The Christmas Carol." It's not "White Christmas." It's not "It's a Wonderful Life." But it's one of my favorite holiday moments on film.

Why?

Because it's funny, heart-warming, and nerd-tastic, all in the same episode of "The Big Bang Theory."


A little background: Earlier in the episode, Penny tells Sheldon she's gotten him a gift for Christmas. Sheldon is less than thrilled, because now he feels it's his obligation to get her a gift of equal value. Confused by the entire "gift-exchange" idea, he ends up purchasing several options so that he's sure to have the perfect gift for Penny. Enjoy.

Number three: Bust out some groovy Christmas tunes.
I love all the classics: Bing Crosby, Judy Garland, Johnny Mathis. I love a lot of newer stuff, too: Josh Groban, The Barlow Girls, Sarah Mclachlan. And you know I have the New Kids on the Block Christmas album. But for a few of my MOST favorites? Harry Connick, Jr's "Harry for the Holidays," The Jackson 5 "Ultimate Christmas Collection," and Chris Botti, "December."


But it's just not Christmas at my house without Straight, No Chaser. Best. Christmas Album. Ever. So much so that I couldn't choose just one video. Sorry. 





Number two: Make a giant list of all the things we want for Christmas...
...knowing all too well that most of them are way too expensive to afford. This year's list toppers are a Camaro for Brian, and a small island off the coast of Florida for me.


Anyone want to give us a bazillion dollars?


And finally, Number One, and possibly my favorite holiday tradition to date: Elf Yourself.
And no, I don't mean that as an insult.


I'm talking about that genius little website associated with Office Max, powered by JibJab.


It's the greatest thing since eggnog. And so easy, too! Just find a few pictures of you and your favorite friends, follow the easy instructions, and create the funniest darn video this side of an Abby Gabs video blog.


Inevitably, you'll make a couple to send to your nearest and dearest. I always do, every year. But my favorite one always turns out to be the video I fill with the most random pictures I can find.


And today, you lucky reader you, I'm sharing an Abby Gabs themed Elf Yourself video with you. Happy Laughing.

Now that's what I call tradition. HA!


Author's Note: I swear, I didn't have anything to do with the order they chose for the dance above. I did, however, choose to have Donnie Wahlberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Optimus Prime dance a holiday jig with Brian and me. It's a personal preference thing.

Be Enough Me: The Best Present Of All

Every year, when the turkey's gone, our bellies full, and the dishes done, I start to get that excited, fluttery feeling in my heart. I crave the smells of a Douglas fir, cookies fresh from the oven, wintery air that's frosty on my nose. My fingers itch to wrap presents, hang ornaments, and write cheerful holiday cards. I start my mornings with flavored coffees--pumpkin and cinnamon and peppermint. Bing Crosby, Elvis, and Harry Connick, Jr. serenade me on a daily basis.


It's Christmastime. My favorite time of year.

Every year, as the tree goes up in the stand, and the lights are untangled and wrapped around the boughs, there's a smile in my heart that can't be erased. Each tiny ornament has such significant meaning, it's a celebration as I unwrap each one. "Here's the one from the year we got married!" I exclaim. Or "This is the first one you ever bought for me!" And "Oh, I forgot about this one! Look, Brian! It's the silly kitty with the flowerpot on his head!"


Others hold more emotional memories: the white angel holding a kitten for the spring when Eddie died, the glass ornament with the cancer awareness ribbon bearing the date of Brian's surgery. These baubles bring tears to my eyes each time I see them.

Each ornament is placed on the tree with care. Silver balls and glass crystals are added as the perfect light catchers. The blue bow goes on top, and the snowy white tree skirt below. Now comes my favorite part. 


We turn off all the lights in the house, except the tree. We stand back, hand in hand, and just look. Music plays quietly in the background. A cat sniffs at a low-hanging branch, feigns indifference, and curls up beneath it instead. The blue lights are cool, bringing winter to our mild, warm climate. In silence we stand, contemplating. I'm sure Brian is looking at his handiwork, looking for gaps or blank spots, searching with his eyes to find an imperfection he can fix.

 My eyes fill with tears as I think about the child we are without again this year. My heart breaks a little more. My arms ache. I wonder if we'll ever have the chance to share all this love with a child of our own.


"What do you think? Should we add one more strand of lights?" my husband's voice rocks me from my reverie. I look at him, bathed in blue light, a smile on his face. My hearts swells, heals, fills. 


I know there will be a night sometime soon when I'm at home alone. I'll turn off all the lights, lay beneath the boughs of my Christmas tree, and weep: for the child that wasn't created this year, for the emptiness of my womb, for another Christmas gone by without the laughter of children to fill our home. That will be the night that I allow myself to feel those feelings I stamp down on most every other night of the year. 

But tonight? Tonight there is too much joy in this room to dwell on sadness. I sigh, wrap my arms around my husband, and say, "If we add many more lights, they'll be able to see us from the International Space Station."


"Isn't that the goal?" he jokes. And I silently thank the fates that I still have him in my life. My husband, my partner, my best friend...the best present of all.

* * * * * * * * *

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Bon Voyage, Brian!

When Brian and I first started dating ten years ago, he was flipping burgers at a popular college cafe. He knew everything there was to know about Tucker's, and could run that place blindfolded, with one hand behind his back, hopping on one leg. (No, really...I've seen him do it.) Brian was one of those people that made the food service industry look like fun. He always showed up to work with a smile on his face. Lunch and dinner rush were his favorite times of the day. He flourished under the pressure of picky eaters, enormous take-out orders, and hungry hordes of people. 

Source

He was so good at it that, when we decided to move to Charleston after graduation, Brian immediately thought he'd like to break into the food and bev biz here, too---possibly even enroll in culinary school.

In the spring before I graduated, we traveled to the Holy City to find an apartment. We'd saved and pinched and scraped together enough money to treat ourselves to a nice meal out while we were in town. (Not a small feat for a college student. Many a quarter was snatched from the depths of the couch cushions.) (Sorry, Mom. I know they were for your Walmart jar.) We wandered into the hotel lobby after an afternoon of apartment hunting, a little lost, but excited by the prospect of our new city. Unsure where we wanted to have our fancy date-night dinner, we turned to the colorful brochures in the hotel lobby.


"Hey, this place looks kind of cool," Brian said, and handed me a flier with a pirate's treasure chest emblazoned on the front. 


Queen Anne's Revenge promised an abundance of choices, from succulent seafood to the most tender prime rib in Charleston. It boasted an extensive collection of authentic pirate artifacts, from pieces of eight and cutlasses to canons and flags. It seemed like the perfect, quirky fit for us. And so we decided to walk the plank. (Yes, I really went there.)

Arrrrrr Matey.

Needless to say, the restaurant made quite an impression on us. Six months later, after moving to Charleston, Brian went back to Queen Anne's Revenge. But this time, he went in search of employment.


In 2004, Brian started at QAR as the salad guy. Since then, he's worked on the line, as a server, a bartender, a host, and as the bar manager. Once again, he was in the position to run that place, hopping on one leg and all. (Anyone else just picture Brian with a peg leg and an eye patch, hopping around behind the bar? No? Okay. Just me then...)


Two things happen when you work in the same establishment for 7 years. The first: you create an extended family with the people you work with. 

Brian's 'family' supported us on more than one occasion--none so important as when he was diagnosed with cancer last year. Not only did they rally together to cover Brian's shifts, they showed up for impromptu visits, offering everything from dinner to drives in convertible Mustangs. There was even a top-secret fundraiser at the restaurant--all proceeds went directly into our pockets, to help pay for Brian's medical expenses. 


These are the kinds of things that you can never pay back, no matter how you try.


The second thing that happens when you work somewhere for 7 years is the discovery that maybe, just maybe, the restaurant industry isn't where you want to be when you're 40 years old. Brian came to that conclusion near the end of 2008. The economy had tanked, people weren't eating out as much, and our income began to shrink. Brian decided he'd grown weary of living off of other people's generosity (because that's what living off of tips really is) and enrolled in nursing school.


Here we are, almost 4 years later, and Brian has reached the end of his time aboard the good ship Queen Anne's Revenge. Today is his last official day as a member of the food and beverage industry. Today, he changes his last keg, pours his last beer, and slings his last drink.


We'll be forever grateful to the people at QAR--those who celebrated birthdays and weddings and Superbowls with us. We'll always have a soft spot in our hearts and memories to make us chuckle. 


But avast, ye mateys! The time has come to bring about, weigh anchor, and fly the Jolly Roger. Yo ho, me hearties, yo ho.


But never fear, ye scallywags. We'll always come back for the prime rib. 


(No, seriously. The prime rib is AWEsome.)

Congratulations, Brian!!

An Abby Gabs Video Blog

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