Christmas Traditions (The Abby Gabs Way)

It's that time of year again. The time of year when the older generations pass down Christmas traditions to the younger generations. Food, decorations, religious ceremony, ABC Family movie marathon: however you choose to celebrate is yours and yours alone. And what delight, to pass it along to the blossoming young pups, looking to soak it all up like sponges.


Well, readers, I have a few of my very own Christmas traditions. Some of them are what most would consider normal. Others....not so much. Today, I'd like to share them with you.

My Top Five Must Complete Before XMAS Traditions (In No Particular Order).

Number five: Purchase a brand new ornament for the tree.

It started out as just a fun way to pass an hour at the mall. Something that made Christmas solely ours, as a couple. We'd make a day of it: lunch out at our favorite restaurant, followed by a jaunt through a handful of stores, until an adorable ornament made us both smile, and that one would be our newest addition.

Then, about five years ago, I decided to take it a up a notch. Why not choose an ornament that holds meaning? One that, when we unwrap it ten years from now, will immediately solicit a memory from that year? It was perfect! An ornament that represents the most memorable thing that happened to us in a year! I'm a genius!

This makes ornament shopping a little more complicated. But so much more fulfilling.

In 2005, we bought a Carolina Panthers' snowman at Bank of America stadium, where Brian took me to my first ever professional football game. In 2006, we chose an angel with the inscription "Love isn't about who you live with, but who you cannot live without." In 2007--the year we went to Disney World--we picked an adorable pair to hang on our tree: Minnie and Mickey, Christmas shopping.  A cherubic angel holding a white kitten made the perfect addition in 2008--the year our cat, Eddie, passed away. 2009--another kitty ornament to celebrate the arrival of Scooter to our family. 

Last year I chose a solid glass ornament with a cancer awareness ribbon etched into it's surface. It seemed fitting.

This year, we're on the lookout for something scholastic. Perhaps a stack of books, or a pen and paper. This will commemorate Brian's first year of nursing school, as well as my own success at (finally) beginning to write. 

Number four: Celebrate with Sheldon, Leonard, and Penny.

It's not "The Christmas Carol." It's not "White Christmas." It's not "It's a Wonderful Life." But it's one of my favorite holiday moments on film.

Why?

Because it's funny, heart-warming, and nerd-tastic, all in the same episode of "The Big Bang Theory."


A little background: Earlier in the episode, Penny tells Sheldon she's gotten him a gift for Christmas. Sheldon is less than thrilled, because now he feels it's his obligation to get her a gift of equal value. Confused by the entire "gift-exchange" idea, he ends up purchasing several options so that he's sure to have the perfect gift for Penny. Enjoy.

Number three: Bust out some groovy Christmas tunes.
I love all the classics: Bing Crosby, Judy Garland, Johnny Mathis. I love a lot of newer stuff, too: Josh Groban, The Barlow Girls, Sarah Mclachlan. And you know I have the New Kids on the Block Christmas album. But for a few of my MOST favorites? Harry Connick, Jr's "Harry for the Holidays," The Jackson 5 "Ultimate Christmas Collection," and Chris Botti, "December."


But it's just not Christmas at my house without Straight, No Chaser. Best. Christmas Album. Ever. So much so that I couldn't choose just one video. Sorry. 





Number two: Make a giant list of all the things we want for Christmas...
...knowing all too well that most of them are way too expensive to afford. This year's list toppers are a Camaro for Brian, and a small island off the coast of Florida for me.


Anyone want to give us a bazillion dollars?


And finally, Number One, and possibly my favorite holiday tradition to date: Elf Yourself.
And no, I don't mean that as an insult.


I'm talking about that genius little website associated with Office Max, powered by JibJab.


It's the greatest thing since eggnog. And so easy, too! Just find a few pictures of you and your favorite friends, follow the easy instructions, and create the funniest darn video this side of an Abby Gabs video blog.


Inevitably, you'll make a couple to send to your nearest and dearest. I always do, every year. But my favorite one always turns out to be the video I fill with the most random pictures I can find.


And today, you lucky reader you, I'm sharing an Abby Gabs themed Elf Yourself video with you. Happy Laughing.

Now that's what I call tradition. HA!


Author's Note: I swear, I didn't have anything to do with the order they chose for the dance above. I did, however, choose to have Donnie Wahlberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Optimus Prime dance a holiday jig with Brian and me. It's a personal preference thing.

Today I Answer An Age-Old Question

Who would you invite to a dinner party? Dead or alive, famous or not, real or fictional---if you could have anyone over to your house for a meal, who would you choose?


I've heard so many answers to this question. Some names are synonymous with dinner party: Oprah, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus (especially if he does that water to wine trick), Marilyn Monroe, the President. I've heard others answer with their favorite celebrity crush, rock star, movie star, or person they'd most like to sleep with. 


My answers might surprise you. But I've put a lot of thought into the people I'd invite, and why. Here's what my ideal dinner party would look like:

Ah, yes. A motley crew. Let me explain my guest list.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
Not only is she funny, clever, quick-witted and adorable, she's downright mean with a knife. That takes care of the carving station. She'd also be handy to have around in case of a Zombie Attack. (What? Zombies like dinner parties, too.) I'd try desperately not to bore her with frequent comments of "You're so awesome, Buffy!" and "Can we be best pals?" But I might not be able to stop myself. Not to mention, if she comes to dinner, then the likelihood that Spike will stalk follow her and hide in the bushes outside increases tenfold. Which also increases the likelihood that I'll get to meet Spike. Score!


Howie Mandel:
I find him to be charming, funny, and a witty conversationalist. I'm sure if we swear not to touch him, and provide him with copious amounts of Purell, he might actually come and have a good time. If we're really lucky, we might be able to convince him to do some voices from his 80s cartoon, Bobby's World. Let's face it, every dinner party needs someone to be the comedian. Howie is my pick.


My best friend and college roommate, Jenna:
First and foremost, I'd invite her because I love her to bits and she's always fun to have around. But more importantly, if I invited Buffy, and didn't invite Jenna, it may be the end of our friendship. You see, we both have a major love affair for all-things-Buffy. And I'd hate to lose my best friend by failing to allow her the opportunity to dine with our favorite super hero. (And also, if Buffy comes, the likelihood that Angel might follow her and hide in the bushes outside increases tenfold. Which also increases the likelihood that Jenna would get to meet Angel. Score!)


Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore:
He is, hands down, my favorite fictional character of all time. I love everything about Professor Dumbledore--from his penchant for profound words of wisdom to his reverence for all things childish--and the idea of getting to sit beside him over a plate of fried chicken and pick his brain about all things magical sends tingles down my spine. It's the closest thing this Muggle could get to real magic, and I'd be 100% on board. Plus, if the zombies get out of hand and Buffy gets swamped, Dumbledore could help out with a few Bat Bogey Hexes. And as an extra bonus, I bet if we asked him real nice like, he'd bring us some goodies from the Harry Potter world---Bertie Bott's  Every Flavored Beans for dessert, anyone?


And finally, Paula Deen:
She's sweet, she's silly, she's a wiz in the kitchen, and everyone loves her. Plus, I wouldn't have to cook. But if I insisted on being in the kitchen, she'd be right there beside me, whipping up some of her famous hoe cakes and talking my ear off about her southern roots and sharing with me the secrets of truly fluffy buttermilk biscuits. I can't imagine a more wonderful way to spend an afternoon in the kitchen.


Unless maybe my Dad was there.


Shoot, now I have to invite my Dad...I'm gonna need a bigger table.

Friend: A Single Soul In Two Bodies

It was October of 1999. I'd managed to introduce East Hall and most of its occupants to my less-than-graceful self by falling out of a window and breaking my face. It was Halloween night, and I was slowly making my way back to my room after a 7 hour visit to the local emergency room. I was drugged up, bruised from one side to the other, and feeling extremely sorry for myself when I heard a somewhat familiar voice.


"Oh, honey, what in the WORLD happened to you?"


Through my pain-killer-haze I recognized a girl who lived a few doors down. She was in my English class, and had always been sweet to me. She reminded me of a gypsy fairy--long dark hair, willowy frame, graceful and kind. At that moment, I couldn't recall her name.


I explained to her what had happened, and she clucked at me like a mother hen and walked me to my dorm room.


"You get some rest. And you just let me know if you need anything at all. I'll be happy to share my notes with you from Wentworth's class, if you need them."


It wasn't until she left that I remembered her name. Jenna. And we've been fast friends ever since.

In case you don't recognize me, I'm the skinny girl on the left with all the hair.

Jenna and I bonded over poetry, our obsession for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and our shared (and unabashed) love for The Monkees. Her room was a refuge for me. I'd escape from the stresses of college life and head for Jenna's door. We would light candles, listen to music (usually something ethereal I'd never heard before) and talk for hours. Or, we'd snuggle under a blanket, bust out our favorite vending machine snacks, and watch Buffy on VHS. 


During our sophomore year, an opportunity to join Orson Scott Card in New York City for a spring break writer's conference was something neither of us could turn down. We planned our trip giddily for weeks, comparing notes over places we wanted to see, trying to cram in as much sight-seeing as we could despite the fact that we'd be in class every day we were there. We packed the most sophisticated clothes we had in our possession. Jenna packed her maps, I packed my writing tablet and pens, and we headed for the Big Apple.

And I wound up borrowing her clothes most of the time we were there, because my "Happy As A Clam" t-shirt just wasn't "Manhattan" enough for me.

Nothing bonds 2 college-aged young women together like nighttime strolls down East 24th Street, 6-hour writing jags in a Manhattan Starbucks, standing at the feet of the Twin Towers, or belting out our favorite show tunes in the twinkling lights of Broadway. As our trip came to an end, our grand plans to find an apartment somewhere in Boone and spend the summer drinking strawberry margaritas, writing short stories, and having true Buffy marathons (as in, from dawn to dusk) were solidified.


Jenna and I moved into our first college apartment in April of 2001. It was a tiny basement apartment, where we weren't allowed to have pets (but did), hang wind chimes (but did), or have loud parties (which we didn't.) It was everything we'd dreamed of and more. Eventually, Brian came into my life, and moved into our apartment with us. 

The three of us looking in on illegal pet #4, Dizzy. Jenna had 3 pet rats, and we eventually added a rabbit to the mix.

It was like Three's Company, without Mr. Roper. We worked in shifts, but when we all managed to get together on the same day, we'd make up the hideaway bed, pass the Ben and Jerry's around, and we'd (you guessed it) watch Buffy or Angel or Farscape (which Brian introduced us to.) I had everything I ever wanted--a love in my life that was healthy and big, a best friend who could look at me and tell me what I was thinking before I could form the thought, a little apartment and a place to call my own.

We were nothing if not theatrical.

When our lease came to an end, Brian and I got our own place. I was sad to wake up every morning and know I couldn't share a poptart and cup of coffee with Jenna, but thrilled to be making my way in this relationship with Brian. A little over 2 years after Jenna walked me back to my dorm room in East Hall, Brian proposed. And like most young couples, we fell into each other, and the rest of the world melted away. I lost touch with Jenna, and though I thought of her and missed her often, we never reconnected.


Fast forward to 2006. Brian and I were living in Charleston, and I discovered Myspace for the first time. (You remember...back when Myspace was cool?) When I found Jenna, my first reaction was, "Will she want to hear from me? Should I send her a message?" Memories of Manhattan, all-night dorm room conversations, and losing my best friend flooded my brain. I sent her a message, and she sent me her phone number. I remember feeling nervous, excited, as I took my cell phone and a glass of wine out to my car. (I wanted complete and utter silence so I could hear her every word. You may not get it, but Jenna will understand.) 


The first few moments of conversation were a little awkward, a lot nerve-wracking. But 10 minutes in, and it was like no time had passed at all.


Jenna has since married her high school sweetheart, and they have a gorgeous baby boy, "Bubber." We've grown up (a little), and we don't share the same address anymore. But there are some bonds that are unbreakable.

This past weekend, Jenna and her little family came to Charleston for a visit. We played with Bubber, chatted about mommyhood and work life and grown-up stuff. We discreetly left the men to bond over video games and retreated to the kitchen to share a glass of wine. We visited the zoo and the beach and our favorite local Mexican restaurant (because we don't get together without margaritas being somewhere in the equation.) 

Abby, Jenna and Bubber.

Out of all the fun and excitement of the weekend, my favorite moment was a quiet one, shared under the umbrella at the beach. The menfolk were gone, Bubber was sleeping, and Jenna and I sat in our chairs, breathing in the salt air, talking quietly. In that moment, we were AbbyandJenna, East Hall residents, poets, girls searching for our places in the world. Our busy, adult lives, with children and work and husbands and life, cannot shake the foundation our friendship was built upon.


After all, a friendship built upon Buffy is one that will last a lifetime.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

I think you can tell a lot about a person by what television shows they enjoy.


After reading the following post, I'm banking on you knowing even more about me. And my viewing habits. And my obsession with all things Joss Whedon.


I've been feeling very list-y lately, so today, I'm going to tell you all about my Top Five Favorite TV Shows (That Are No Longer On The Air Because I Have Another List For Those Shows). One day, I will share my Top Five Favorite TV Shows (That Are Currently Still on the Air.) 


Ok. Let's start with


#5) F*R*I*E*N*D*S


I own all ten seasons on DVD. I've watched the entire series through 7 or 8 times. I cry every time Ross and Rachel break up, or when Monica proposes to Chandler, or when Phoebe gives birth to the triplets.  I laugh hysterically every time Joey does squats in Chandler's clothes, or Phoebe changes her name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock, or when Ross tells Chandler that Rachel's dessert "tastes like feet." It's the show I most often quote and reference. In fact, with those nearest and dearest to me, I don't even have to set up the reference first. I'll just say, "Could I BE any more annoyed right now?" and they automatically get the Chandler impression.  Even my husband takes part in the fun. If I'm reading an emotional scene in a book, he helpfully offers to put it in the freezer for me. 


If you were at my house right now, I would pull out the Friends DVD collection and show you all my favorite episodes. But since you're not at my house, I'll share my favorite gag reel, from Season 6, instead. Enjoy.









#4) Farscape


It's the show that officially turned me into a nerd. I'd never really been into sci-fi before, but my husband was addicted to this show and got me and our roommate, Jenna, summarily addicted shortly after he moved in. On Sundays, we would pull out the hideaway, put reruns of Farscape in the VCR, and pass around pints of Ben and Jerry's from dawn till dusk. We laughed at Crichton, we sneered at Nigel, and we mourned for Zhaan.  The night of the last episode was like a funeral at our house. And while the final credits rolled, we shouted obscenities and shook our fists, cursing the executives at SyFy for cancelling our favorite show. 


This show had everything you could want in a one hour drama: compelling story lines, lovable characters, a heart-wrenching love story, cartoons, Bugs Bunny references, and the hottest leading man in history (short of Angel). If you've never seen it, Netflix it immediately.  I'll always carry a torch for John Crichton. Always.

Oh, to be Aeryn Sun...

#3) Ally McBeal


I've already referenced Ally McBeal on Abby Gabs at least once. I firmly believe that John Cage is the funniest character in television history. I can't even count the number of times I laughed out loud while watching him stutter his way through five seasons of terrific television. In fact, as lovable as Calista Flockhart was as Ally, I always wondered why they didn't just call it "John Cage." 


I will admit that this show made me feel somewhat bipolar. I'd be laughing hysterically one minute, and sobbing my eyes out the next. But I think that's the culmination of excellent writing and a great ensemble cast. I never understood the "great fall of Robert Downey Jr." until I watched him as the adorable Larry Paul. It makes me even gladder that he's back in the biz.


For your viewing pleasure, here is a slightly fuzzy video of the famous "Barry White" dance.






#2) Battlestar Galactica


This is a recent addition to my list. I avoided it for years, mainly because I was still mad at SyFy for cancelling Farscape. So, in true Abby fashion, I boycotted. I'm not sure what possessed us to watch it. We were really bored one day, flipping through the Netflix queue, and my husband said, "Why don't we try Battlestar Galactica? I've heard it's pretty good." 


So we did.


And we watched the entire series in a matter of a month. 


Any free time that we had was spent either watching the show, discussing the show, obsessing over the show, or dreaming about the show.


We had entire conversations picking apart the cast, speculating on who was Cylon, and who was not. We found ourselves interjecting "frack" and "oh my gods" into our daily vernacular. I decided, in short order, that I desperately want to be as cool as Starbuck when I grow up. 


We sat on the edge of our seats through every episode. We picked up our jaws from the floor countless number of times. And when it was all said and done, we began forcing BSG on our unsuspecting family and friends.


Here's how the conversations go:


A or B: "Did you watch Battlestar Galactica?"
Unsuspecting friend/family member: "No."
A or B: "OHMYGODS YOU.HAVE.TO.NETFLIX.IT.NOW! NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!


So, reader, I ask....have you ever seen Battlestar Galactica?


NO?!??!?


Well then, here's a quick taste of what you're missing. I had to look all over for this, but it's a trailer that gives you all the info without revealing any of the storyline. Man. It makes me want to watch it all over again!!! (Yes, I'm giddy like a child over sharing this with you. So much so that if you can't see the video embedded below, go HERE.)




Battlestar Galactica - Epic Series Trailer from Tom Howard on Vimeo.

#1) Only the best TV show in the creation of TV, ever....Buffy the Vampire Slayer


Ok, if you thought I was excited about BGS, prepare yourself. Because as crazy as I am for those mother-frakkin' toasters, I will always and forever be an honorary Scooby.


What can I say about BtVS? It came on the scenes when I was still a wee young thing. I watched with my high school girlfriends, and we all fell in love with David Boreanaz. 


(My husband does a great "Abby Watching David Boreanaz on Screen" impression. It goes something like "<HUGE SIGH> Angel...." But he was too much of a poo-head to do it on camera for me today, so you'll just have to take my word for it.)


Let me put it this way. If Joss Whedon--genius creator of Buffy, Angel, Firefly, and the amazing web series "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog", and director of the greatest episode of Glee, ever...


Ok, wait, that was a really long sentence.


Let me start over.


If Joss Whedon were a magazine, I would have a subscription. If Joss Whedon had a fan club, I would be Vice President (because I'm pretty sure Jenna would be President.) If Joss Whedon started a cult, I would join. If Joss Whedon told me to drink the Kool Aid, I would DRINK THE KOOL AID.


Are you with me so far?


There is nothing that I don't love about Buffy. I love the characters. I love the zombies. I love the fast-paced, witty dialogue. I love Xander, I love Willow, I love Giles, I love Anya. I adore Angel. 


But my real love affair is with Spike.


SPIKE!


*Swoon.*


I've decided that I'm going to have to do an entire BtVS blog later. Because I'm probably losing you at this point. I can force feed you my favorite lines later. For now, I'll leave you with the best musical number from my favorite episode, "Once More With Feeling." (Ok, so the whole episode is the best musical number, ever, but this one is very, very, very short.)






What you should take from today's blog is this: No, I'm not a spaz. Unless we're talking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Or Battlestar Galactica. Or Spike. 


SPIKE!


*Swoon.*