Oprah Knows Best

I've been a fan of the Oprah Winfrey show since she had the New Kids on the Block on way back in 1989. 


(Yes, Brian, that was a vague Donnie Wahlberg reference...but don't panic. That's not what this blog is about, and I'll always love you best.)


I watched Oprah with my Mom in elementary school, and learned about how to prevent a kidnapping (never let yourself be taken to the second location!), what anorexia looked like (remember Rudine?), and the fashion do's and don'ts of the time (which didn't do any of us much good, considering shoulder pads, neon green accessories, and big hair were all the rage back then.)


I continued watching through my high school and college years. I remember being thrilled when she introduced her Book Club in 1996. Finally, here was someone famous who would rather be face-first in a book than anywhere else in the world! I could totally relate to that, and I went with her on the journey through Anna Karenina, She's Come Undone, A Million Little Pieces, White Oleandar, East of Eden, and more. 


I've struggled with my weight right alongside Oprah. I've laughed at her antics with her best friend, Gayle King. I've watched her interview people who are famous for being movie stars, or musicians, or politicians. I've watched her interview people who just wanted to share their stories with the world, who wanted the mistake or catastrophe that happened in their life be a warning for us. I've recorded every episode of Oprah since we got our DVR back in 2004. 


I subscribe to her magazine. I own the 20th Anniversary box set on DVD.

I'm one of the thousands of unsung "Ultimate Viewers" who didn't get to go to Australia. 

And now, for those who missed it (are you living under a rock?) her show is coming to an end. (Sad face.)


In case you're not an Oprah fan, I'd like to share one of my favorite features of her O Magazine with you. In every issue, on the last page, Oprah shares what she knows for sure. It's always something enlightening and inspiring. 


I thought, "Hey, that's a good idea for a blog. What does Abby know for sure?"


I'll tell you.


What I Know For Sure:


I will always...let me stress, ALWAYS...choose the bag of Doritoes over the fruit salad in the fridge EVERYTIME. So don't bring them in the house. (<------BRIAN!)


I'm always going to want my DVDs and CDs alphabetized. It may seem OCD to you, but it's really just common sense.


While I'm "sort of" good at a lot of things, I'm not really great at any one thing. And I'm okay with that. I'm a "Jill of all trades."


I will always be scared of spiders. Present them however you like---cute and furry and stuffed, top hat and roller skates, silly pencil sketch cartoon....doesn't matter. Having eight legs is sinister and against all things natural.


Sometimes I'll falter, and sometimes I'll make mistakes, but I know I'll spend the rest of my life striving to be a good wife, a good daughter, and a good friend.


There are some things in life I know I'll never get to do: travel to Africa, competed on So You Think You Can Dance, visit the surface of the moon. All of that is a-okay with me (so long as I get to meet Donnie Wahlberg before I die.) 


Ok, Bri, so, maybe I lied. A little.

People I Envy the Most

I'm not too proud to admit that there are a few people on this planet who I envy.


Yes, my life is pretty darn fantastic. There's not much to complain about. I'm a blessed woman and I know it.


But there are a few factions of folks whose shoes I'd like to wear, if only for a day.


Here's my top 5:


#5 Disney World Employees

I love Disney World. I've only been once, but the one thing that stuck out to me (more than the happiness abounding from around each and every corner) was how cheerful, helpful, wonderful, and clean the entire staff was. Whether they were cleaning bathrooms, handing you food, giving out directions, or helping you onto a ride, every single person I encountered while within the hallowed walls of Mickey's little world was absolutely perfect.


Would I ever want to be one of the princesses or a Mickey dressed in Safari gear?


Absolutely not.


But I think it would be such fun to work in one of the shops or restaurants on the Disney property. I mean....is anyone in a bad mood while they're at Disney World? Anyone?


#4 Beautiful Women Who Jog (especially on the beach)

If you are one of these women---I don't hate you! I swear! In fact, you're part of a sorority I'm dying to pledge.


But it doesn't matter than I want to be you desperately. Because inevitably, when you jog prettily by me, wearing your adorable matching sports bra and tennis shoes, I'm going to have something snarky to say under my breath.


You won't hear me. Just keep jogging. And being beautiful. And healthy. And thin....


#3 Oprah Winfrey

Not because she's rich. Or because she lives in a big, fancy house. Or because she knows everyone in show business.


Only because she knows (and apparently gets to kiss) Hugh Jackman. For that, I envy her.


#2 The People Who Live Here

You should envy them, too. Santorini.....sigh....


and finally, #1 The Backup Dancers for the New Kids on the Block







(Video is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC4nPcxZH8I)

It's true, you might not understand this obsession of mine. In fact, those of you who are of the age who, like me, grew up obsessed with the New Kids have most likely moved on to other obsessions. It's fine. I don't blame you (much.)


The truth of the matter: when I was 10 years old, I was CONVINCED that I was going to grow up and become a dancer for the New Kids.


It never dawned on me that they might break up, or no longer be touring by the time I was old enough to join their posse. (That's the cool kid lingo.)


Nor did it ever occur to me that as I aged, so would they.


For 2 or 3 summers of my childhood, I spent every single day with My First Sony tape player, a New Kids on the Block cassette tape, and my backyard. I danced and performed and sang my little heart out.


Most of the time it was just for me. Other times, it was for my entire family (Thanks, Mom and Dad, for suffering through those concerts....)


It wasn't just a dream for me, it was my reality.


Now, to know that they're on tour again, with backup dancers much younger than me, and to know that I missed my opportunity...


Well, I want to stab those skinny little girls in the kneecap.


But then, Donnie might not like me, and that would make me sad. So I'll just be envious from afar.






Photo sources:
Disney: www.mailonline.com
Jogger: http://www.saidaonline.com
Oprah: www.zimbio.com
Santorini: http://www.book-santorini-hotels.com