Yeah. Forget Calgon. Captain Morgan, take me away.
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| Yes, PLEASE. |
When I have weeks like this one, I oftentimes imagine what it would be like to have superpowers. The ability to become invisible would help. Perhaps the gift of flight--I could be in the Keys by noon.
But I still think if I had to choose one superpower over all the others, I'd choose Mario's fireball ability. And here are my top five reasons why.
Top Five Reasons Why I Wish I Could Shoot Fireballs Like Mario (as in, the Plumber. Not Batali.)
Reason #5: I'd always be invited to birthday parties.
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| Who needs matches when you've got fireballs? |
Reason #4: I'd become imperative in the off chance there was ever a major blackout.
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| My precious. MWAhahaha...ahem. Ooh. Sorry. |
Reason #3: I could melt stuff. Any kind of stuff. Especially the kind of stuff that really annoys me, like my work phone.
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| Pew Pew Pew Pew... |
Reason #2: I could use my fireball ability to singe the eyebrows of customers (and Bowsers) who infiltrate my lair and yell at me for no apparent reason.
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| It's always the shorts ones you have to watch out for. |
And finally, Reason #1: I could finally live out my life long dream of being Buffy's sidekick in the next apocalypse.
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| Take that evil zombie. {insert witty retort via Joss Whedon here} |
* * * * * * *
It never matters the context. Whenever I hear or see the word "zombie," I immediately start singing the song by the Cranberries.
Not that I actually know the lyrics, but I can pretend.
You know: ♪♫ ZOMBEEEY, ZOMBEEEY, ZOMBEEEY EY EY EY EY, OH OH OH OH...♪♫
Sigh.
