I'm an on-site manager for a storage facility. For in depth info, you can read about it in a previous post.
Let me clarify that I'm the only employee. I have no co-workers, it's just me. I answer to one individual, and that's the owner of the facility. My boss. For the purposes of this blog, we're going to call him Bossman Bill.
To fully appreciate Bossman Bill, you should know that he's the most gracious, kind-hearted, friendly sort of fellow who is easy to like, and easy to get along with. He's always been nothing but wonderful to my husband and me, and working for him is really very easy.
Example of his kindness: when we first took the job and were moving our belongings into the apartment, Bossman Bill noticed that we didn't have a dining room table. "Where do you eat?" he asks. "On TV trays," we replied.
Two days later he showed up with a brand new dining set as a "house-warming" gift.
Keep in mind, we'd only known Bossman Bill for about 2 weeks.
See? Kind-hearted and all-around-wonderful guy.
To say Bossman Bill is frugal is an understatement. This man LOVES a deal. He often calls me to tell me about sales he's found at local grocery stores.
"Abby," he says, "do you like <insert name of product here>? Because if you do, they have a buy one, get one 50% off at <insert name of popular grocery chain here.>"
He also brings me coupon books, office supplies he got for a good price (even if I already have them stocked), huge tubs of cashews or cookies he finds at Sam's Club for a steal, and just about anything else you can imagine.
It's sort of adorable. I mean, who doesn't love a deal?
It would also be an understatement to refer to Bossman Bill as a Chatty Cathy. And coming from me, who sprung forth from a family who can talk for hours without breaking a sweat, that's really saying something. But to his credit, Bossman knows it, and makes jokes about it. Because he's so left-brained, he doesn't think anything about explaining something to me, down to the nuts and bolts.
For instance, a few months ago, while B was in the hospital, Bossman Bill noticed that the towel rod in our bathroom was starting to come out of the wall. Bossman Bill, being ever vigilant in making sure we are 100% happy with our less-than-normal situation, immediately went about fixing it.
Now, keep in mind, my husband had just had literal life-saving surgery, so the last thing on my mind was the state of our towel rod. But Bossman Bill called to tell me he was fixing it. He then outlined the products he intended to use, the correct method to patching a hole in the drywall, the measurements (down to the inch) of where the new rod would hang in comparison to the old rod, the color paint he would be using to cover the patch work, and a detailed description of the new rod.
This conversation took about 15 minutes.
Most normal people would have been ready to feed him an hungry mob of zombies.
Me: I half-listened, made occasional "uh-huh" comments, and understood this was his way of taking care of us in the best way he knew how, in circumstances beyond his control.
See? A little annoying, but totally endearing.
Now, I had to tell you all of THAT to tell you THIS.
We often have conversations that make me chuckle. Ok, well, we often have one-sided conversations that make me chuckle.
Yesterday morning, he came into the office with his usual cheerful self. No normal greeting needed:
BB: Do you like ketchup?
A: Um, I mean, yeah we use it, but....(holds breath, waiting for him to hand over 6 bottles of ketchup from Sam's)
BB: Good. I've got something for you. (disappears for a moment, and comes back in with a small object in his hand. I sigh in relief in the knowledge that I'm not going to have to give away ketchup to the next 6 customers who come through my door.) Check this out!
(He hands me this:)
 |
| Apparently, the world's coolest ketchup delivery device. |
BB: It's the new ketchup packet from Chick-Fil-A! I thought they were pretty neat, so I grabbed one to bring you.
A: Wow. Thanks.
BB: See, if you want to squeeze it out, you just tear off the top, but you can also rip the whole top off for dunking.
A: I see that. Pretty nifty.
BB: I thought so. And they told me that Friday is "FRIES-DAY," and if you go and ask for the new ketchup packet, they'll give you a free medium fry with your order!
A: Oh, cool! That's really cool. I'll have to share that information with B. (thinking to myself--wow! Useful information! I should write this down...)
BB: Now you have to go between 2 and 4 pm to get the free fries.
A: Oh. (thinking to myself, um, I have to work Friday till five, so this information is now totally useless.) I guess you'll be there, huh?
BB: ME? No way. There'll be a ton of people there. Hanged if I'll stand in line all day for a free medium fry when I have coupons at home that I can use any other day. (A thinks: naturally.) Even the lady that was working the counter said she was thinking about calling in sick. *Chuckle.*
A: Well there you go.
BB: But it's pretty smart of them, dontcha think? I mean, I bet they'll do a ton of business that day with all those people coming in to get those free fries. On regular days, there's almost always a huge line with people waiting in the drive-thru. I bet it'll be standing room only.
A: I know the location in Goose Creek always has a long line in the drive-thru.
BB: Yea, I know the guy who owns that one, and the one in Summerville. His name is Mr. X, and he's the nicest guy. His family lives in.....
I'll stop there and hope that you understand what makes this conversation funny. Because explaining it might take longer than the ketchup conversation in general.
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