A Super-Hero In The Making

I never really wanted to be a super-hero when I grew up. Sure, I imagined what it would be like to have super powers---like being able to fly, or being able to shrink down to an inch tall, or being able to magically convert into a back-up dancer for the New Kids on the Block. But I never spent much time zooming around my room, a pillow case tied around my neck, pretending to save the universe from the evil Sergeant Zerg. I just didn't.


However, a jaunt down the super-hero aisle at our local Toys R Us recently has me considering super-herodom a little more closely. And it's all because of the awesomeness that is this plastic Captain America mask:

It fits me perfectly, it has comfort-fit eye pads, and it has a ginormous "A" painted on it. Also, my husband says the blue brings out the color of my eyes.


I have decided that I need to have this mask for my very own. It would make boring household chores seem like huge feats of hero-ness. A giant stack of clean and folded laundry would be way more exciting if it had been washed and folded by Captain Abby. And can you imagine the sparkle of a toilet cleaned by Captain Abby? I can.


I'm also convinced that I'd make a better hero than Captain America. I mean, yeah, he's all strong and dreamy and whatnot. But he's kind of a stick in the mud. He never breaks the rules, he always thinks he's right, and don't even get him started on the importance of broccoli. See, Captain America would be all like:

But Captain Abby? Oh, no. Captain Abby would be all like:

Truthfully, you would probably rather have Captain America in your corner were you to ever get into an altercation with a large man nicknamed Tiny. But when it comes time for a sleepover with all your girlfriends? Well...

That's when Captain Abby comes to the rescue!

I'm not saying Captain America is a BAD superhero. And I'll agree that Chris Evans is a tall drink of water, if you catch my drift. But Captain America does have a kind of Napoleon complex...except he's tall.  You know, like this:

While Captain Abby can't sling a magical shield around, or toss full grown men in full body armor through windows, or crack walnuts between her ass cheeks, she can do one thing that Captain America can't. And that's identify with the majority of women across the nation.

I may leave the actual super-hero job to Captain America, since he has the abs and stuff. But I seriously need that mask for myself. Even if it does make my cheeks look a little plump.

Can't...Think......Brain...Mush....

First, this happened:

Then, this happened:

It's really hard to think when your brain is being fried inside your own skull. Can it be 70 degrees again? Like, now?

The Life of a Celebrity's Pretend Girlfriend

It's been a lonely, lonely summer. The big-time romance with my famous boyfriend, Donnie Wahlberg, is going a little stale. I've been doing my part, faithfully Twitter-stalking him on my many electronic devices. 

But alas, he's nowhere to be found.


It's a sad, sad state of affairs. You see, once upon a time, my Twitter feed would light up on an almost-hourly basis with Tweets from my sweetie. There were pictures from the set of Blue Bloods, updates on his fellow band mates, tweets from the road. I miss his silly videos, like this one:




And his daily bits of encouragement, which his fans have started calling WOWs (or words of wisdom.) My favorite of all time (so far)?

Because he used a hyphen, and made up a word. And it is flat-out adorable.

Each morning I dash to my computer, hoping that he's surfaced for a quick Twitter chat. And each time my Twitter feed is empty, I feel a little bit sadder. But my love for him runs so deep, that despite his lack of Twitter activity lately, I continue to go back. Holding my breath. Hoping for more. Sigh.

In my mind, I know he just came off of a huge world tour (Europe, Australia, South America, Mexico.) They also just finished up with the 2012 New Kids on the Block Cruise. (If you love me, you'll give me the eleventy-billion dollars it costs so I can go next year.) I know he's probably taking a much-deserved vacation, relaxing on some remote beach somewhere, soaking up the sunshine and adoration of the women of a nearby village.

But that doesn't make me miss him any less.

Thankfully, there's a whole mess of Donnie's girlfriends out there in the world, and in an act of sisterly solidarity, we've been keeping one another abreast of his comings and goings. We tweet, we Facebook, we upload pictures to Twitpic and Instagram. The most organized of us got together and created the MOST AWESOME WEBSITE EVER. Those Wahlberg Men dot com are solely responsible for the epicness that is my Donnie Wahlberg desk calendar.

It's swoon-worthy on a daily basis.

They also keep my Donnie mania quenched by posting some of the most excellent fan pics I've ever seen in my life. While I wasn't able to be on the boat with all the other "Block Heads" this summer, with the help of Those Wahlberg Men, I almost felt like I was there thanks to photos like this one:

It leaves me speechless.

And so, though I've thought about ending it, though it's been on-again-off-again, and though I'm on the verge of insanity from the loneliness, I'll stick it out. I will keep pounding the proverbial pavement in the virtual world that is the Twitterverse. It takes a lot of work being a celebrity's pretend girlfriend. But I'll keep it up. Because I could never turn my back on those abs.

Thanks to the moderators at Those Wahlberg Men dot com for the awesome swag, photos, band updates and more! You guys rock!!

The ABC's of Happiness

I found this graphic while perusing Pinterest this morning:

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It's pretty! It's hopeful! It's creative in its use of "xerox" and "zap." And as I read through it, I thought to myself, "I'm pretty happy right now. Maybe I should write my own ABC's of Happiness post."


And thus, you have today's blog topic.

Abby's ABC's of Happiness

A -- Abby Gabs. I know, it's silly, but the fact that I'm back from my writer's block funk, and that the Gabs is back up and running, makes me slightly giddy. Yay for writing!

B -- Buffy. As in, I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer again. And it's just as awesome now as it was 3 years ago, and 5 years ago, and 8 years ago....

C -- Crops. Despite the debilitating heat wave, my tomato plant is absolutely dripping with fruit. And OH BOY, does that ever make me (and my tummy) happy.

D -- Dance TV. My summertime guilty pleasure is Fox's dance show, So You Think You Can Dance. I love the leaps, the locking, and the lines. I grin from ear to ear for each of the 120 minutes it's on each week. Dancers to watch this season? Daniel Baker and Eliana Girard. And since they're choosing America's favorite male AND female dancer this year, they could both win! *Abby flops over in a fit of giddiness*

E -- Exercise. After a month of struggling with my laziness, I finally seem to be back in the groove of things. A new strength training program, combined with my regular Couch to 5K workouts, and I'm on the road back to weight loss. Yay, sweat!

F -- Friends. The kind of friends who make me laugh, make me think, save me from evil sea monsters. I'm so lucky, and grateful, to be surrounded by the best kind of people in the world.

G -- Godchildren. Bub and Baby Girl are growing each and every day. And Mom (best pal, Jenna) posts videos and pictures daily, so I can stay in the loop. I love them so much, I could just about pop.

H -- Headbands. They help to tame the beast, as I'm growing out my hair. Thankfully, there's no limit to the adorable hair accessories in the world. And I'm grabbing them up one by one.

I -- Instagram....as if you couldn't already tell from this post.

J -- Jordan Knight's Old Navy Commercial. Because it's Jordan Knight. And he's a New Kid. Which means he knows Donnie Wahlberg. And all of that makes me very happy.

 
K -- Kitty snuggles. Because I have 4 of them, and the whole purpose of having 4 cats is to pick each of them up and snuggle them daily. It might not make them happy, but it works for me.

L -- Lego Batman 2. Our latest video game craze. We ♥ the Lego franchise, and this may be the best, yet. (Although we're still holding out for The Avengers Lego game. Because Iron Man and Hulk and a million times cooler than Aquaman and Robin.)

M -- My Man. He cooks, he cleans, he mows the grass and waters my plants. He makes me laugh and buys me presents. And best of all, he knows how to do the dance to Will Smith's "Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It." (Believe me when I say that if I could've gotten video evidence of this incident, you would be presented with it right now.)

N -- Novels. I've been reading my head off this summer, and now that I've created my very own virtual book club (on Facebook, of all places), I'm ready to devour even more of the written word. I ♥ Books.

O -- The Olympics!! I'm so excited!! I love the summer Olympics---the swimming and diving, gymnastics, beach volleyball. But most of all----SOCCER!!!! I may be scarce once the games start. I'll be busy painting my face red, white, and blue, and shouting "USA! USA! USA!" like Homer Simpson.

P -- Panthers Preseason Chatter. Yes, I know it's July. Yes, I know football season is still a couple of months away. But those of us crazy football fans already have our eyes glued to the online buzz all about our favorite teams. And the Panthers buzz is nothing but good this year. SO ready for Panthers Football Season 2012!!

Q -- Quiet Moments. They are few and far between. But when it's just me, a cup of coffee, and absolute silence? It's a beautiful thing, ya'll.

R -- Reruns. Firefly, Doctor Who, The Big Bang Theory, Friends....if it weren't for reruns, and television series on DVD, I don't know what we'd do with our spare time.

S -- Spotify. This glowing little music-sharing gem is creating the soundtrack of my summer. It is also the app that is directly responsible for the Jiggy Incident I spoke about a few letters ago.

T -- Thunderstorms. Nothing makes me happier, after a steamy summer day, than a big ol' thunder-boomer. I love watching the clouds roll in, feeling the temperature drop, and witnessing the lighting as it splinters across the sky.

U -- Undertaking New Hobbies. Like my book club, mentioned above. And learning new stitches for future crochet projects. And cheering my hubby on as he tries his hand at model-painting. (As in, Transformers, not Heidi Klum.)

V -- Vino. Lots and lots of vino. I'm on a crisp, sweet, white kick right now. Pinot Grigio?  Yes, please. Chardonnay? If you insist. Moscato? Absolutely, and thank you very much.

W -- Weekends. They're filled with adventure, laughter, and fun. I just can't get enough of them. I wish it could be Sunday every day of the week.

X -- Xylophones. Because they're happy. And also, I couldn't think of anything else to go with  the letter X. Ooh, wait, Xanax! Ok, no, that's just a bad joke.

Y -- YouTube. Because who doesn't get happy when filtering through gems such as this one?



Z -- Zee End. (*In order for this to work, you have to read that line in your best fake Italian voice. Think Mario (the plumber, not Batali.)

Like I said...it's not all shiny and pinnable (I just created a word...definition: the act of pinning something interesting to Pinterest.) But, this list is a pretty decent representation of all the things in my life that are currently making me happy.

Oh wait. I forgot cheese. And new sheets. Ooh, ooh, and the little doo-dads that close up a the holes on notebook paper when they break. What do you call those things anyway?...

Summertime Fun: An Abby Gabs List Blog

It's summertime. Isn't summertime great? Forget about the 100+ degree heat, the monstrous thunderstorms that leave us without power for hours, and the crazy tourist-caused traffic. With summer comes awesome farm fresh produce, glorious beach days, and lots of frosty alcoholic beverages.

Ice cold beer, anyone?

But as wonderful as all those things are, the best thing about THIS summer is the fact that I have Brian home from school. That means plenty of free time to do the things we've been meaning to do since, oh, let's say January of 2011. (Like purchasing an universal remote, going on vacation, and spending time with friends.) And when Brian packs up and heads off to work on weekends, I have plenty of time to obsess over a few little things of my own. Here's my list of 

Things We Do When We Have 

Lots of Free Time (Especially 

When It's Hot Outside.)

#1: Watch Doctor Who.

After plenty of prodding from fellow Geek Chic friends like Jenna and Tina, we finally broke down and started watching Doctor Who. (Thanks Netflix!) It took us about a month to watch all 6 seasons, and I can officially say we have earned our nerd cards. I can't tell you much about the series, (because, you know, SPOILERS...) but let me just say this. WE LOVED IT. The cheese factor, combined with compelling story lines, terrific one-liners, and the ultimate nerdgasm that is time travel---well, it's just the perfect show.

Those of you who are wise beyond your years and were already Doctor Who fans will probably want to know the answer to one burning question---who's our favorite Doctor? Well, I just can't choose. It's a toss up.

How can one choose between David Tennant and Matt Smith??? (Source)

We shout "alons y" in our house as often as we randomly say "Bowties are cool." But I'm really close to sporting a bowtie. And maybe even a fez.

Fezzes are cool, too.

#2: Play Plants Vs. Zombies.

Brian got me a Kindle Fire for my birthday.

See?

I could write an entire blog dedicated solely to my Kindle Fire, because it is, without a doubt, the coolest thing ever. However, there's one app in particular that is currently holding me spellbound. And that app is Plants vs. Zombies.

It's an OCD dream, this game. Planting pretty rows of plants to defend your home from zombies, mowing them down one by one...like I said...it's video game heaven. The part of my brain that drives my OCD is always happy and well-rested after a rousing round of virtual zombie-maiming gardening.

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And as if that's not enough to make a game great, then please let me introduce you to the in-house comedian of Plants vs. Zombies. It's your crazy neighbor, Crazy Dave. And each time he makes an appearance to share his zombie-slaying tips, he makes me laugh out loud. While searching for a video so you could hear him talk, I came across this little gem. Enjoy.

#3: Obsess Over Potential Hairstyles.

Ok, so this is something I do without Brian. Not that he isn't interested, he's just...not interested. 

So, let this serve as a warning to all my friends and family. I've decided to grow my hair out. Which means, for the next 3 to 5 months, you can expect me to look something like this:

Is that a goomba on your head, or are you just growing your hair out?

Thankfully, I have an awesome hairstylist (Hi Leeann!) who will laugh at my Super Mario Brothers' jokes as much as she will help me grow out my locks without adopting the Billy Ray Cyrus 'do. With this decision has come hours and hours of trolling the internet, looking for photos of what I might want my hair to look like next. (The giant walking mushroom with scraggly eyebrows look isn't exactly on my list.)

I'd like to personally thank whoever invented Pinterest, because with it I've found my "how it will look when it starts to get some length back" hairdo:

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...and my "cutey cute cute finished product hairdo:"

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Note to readers: No, I'm not going blonde. It's totally a coincidence that both hairstyles are sported by blondies. I'll be sticking with my natural dark brown color, which I love. Sorry to those who hoped I'd go pink.

#4: Play Mexican Train Dominoes.

Don't believe what you hear. Dominoes are so much cooler than you might believe. The game that changed my mind? Mexican Train Dominoes.

It may look simple. But when we play, it's cutthroat.

This game turns my normally kindhearted family into vicious, smack-talking competitors. And it all stems from the frustration of Brian's complete mastery of the game. 

You see, he always wins. Always. And this makes my brother, my Dad and I very, very, very angry. And then, when he walks away with another victory, he doesn't something smarmy.

Like posting the score sheets on my parents' fridge, taking a photo, posting it
to Facebook, and tagging the losers. 

Even though I always lose, this game is a must-have for dinner parties, lazy Sundays, and most any other occasion. However, I suggest you put your game face on. We don't mess around when it comes to dominoes. (Or Spitty-Outty-Sucky-Uppy Uno, for that matter.)

#5: Drink Margaritas.

Because tequila is a girl's best friend.

 Thus comes the end of my list. And so, inquiring minds want to know. What's going on at your house this summer? (If there's tequila involved, can I come?)