"Conversations" with My Husband...Sort Of

Things have been a little...sniffly...around my house lately. With fall finally unfurling, and a big change in the South Carolina weather, we're facing that wonderful thing known as "Sinus Season."

Hooray.

Not to be out-sicked by the many of South Carolinians currently snorting and snotting into their tissues, my husband came down with a case of "I Feel Like Poo." Thus, our most recent conversations have sounded like this:

Abby: Good morning, honey.
Brian: snnnnorttttttt hack hack spit
Abby: Did you sleep ok?
Brian: AHHH---CHOO! sniff sniff

Abby: Hey, babe. What do you want for dinner?
Brian: unnnnngh cough cough HACK
Abby: Do you feel like eating at all?
Brian: mumble mumble snaaaaaaaaaarrrf
Abby: How about some soup? That might help your throat feel better.
Brian: snooork snooork heeh heeh snoooOOOOrk

Abby: I can't even BELIEVE that play call. Did you SEE THAT???
Brian: OMGEEE MEE eith.......wheeeeeze cough hack wheeeze...
Abby: I mean, that was SO NOT pass interference!!!!! Am I right????
Brian: *nodding as he pulls out a tissue* HOOOOOONNNNNNNK HOONK HHONNK HONK.

Brian: Aaaaabbbbby....
Abby: Yes, Brian?
Brian: I'b dot feelin goot. By dose is all dopped up and I cannod bweathe.
Abby: I know, honey.
Brian: Can doo get be a glass of wata and some dissues so I can blow my doze?
Abby: Of course, sweetie.
Brian: And can doo hand me da remote for da TV? It's right dere.
Abby: Here you go.
Brian: And can doo also get me some socks for ma feed? My does are cold.
Abby: *five minutes later* Here's your water and tissues and socks. Honey. Honey?
Brian: zzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Abby: Are you feeling any better, babe?
Brian: snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf

Fortunately, after a weekend of rest and Claritin, Brian seems to be well on the mend. Thank goodness. I don't know how much more snorting and snuffing we can take. Feel better soon, babe! XO

I dunno. You pick.

Raise your hand if you're married.


Now, raise your hand if you're the decision maker in your family.


I'm not talking about major decisions--like what vehicle you might be purchasing, or where you're going to live. I'm talking about the day-to-day decisions: what you're having for dinner on Friday, what you want to watch on television, what you're going to buy your parents for Christmas.


While Brian and I tackle most major decisions as a team, when it comes to the more mundane decisions in life, they're left mostly up to me. A conversation between us may go a little something like this:


A: I'm making the grocery list for the week. I've got most of our meals planned out, but I was wondering what you might want for dinner on Thursday night.
B: I don't know.
A: Anything you've been craving lately? Or something we've done recently you'd like again?
B: I don't know.
A: Pick a country.
B: Errr....
A: Ok....pick an animal.
B: Ummmm...
A: *trying not to lose her patience.* Any ideas? At all?
B: Whatever you want, babe.
A: grrrrrrrrrrrr....


Now, most normal people wouldn't be annoyed with that conversation. Most people would make the assumption that the person uninterested in making a decision about a meal plan is just that: uninterested in making a decision about a meal plan.


However, Brian is a professional at not making decisions about a lot of stuff.


B: I'm bored.
A: So let's watch something on TV.
B: *flip flip flip* There's nothing on.
A: Sure there is. You're just not trying hard enough to find something.
B: *hands Abby the remote* I dunno. You pick.
A: grrrrrrrrrrr........


And while out on the town:


B: I'm hungry.
A: So, let's grab something to eat.
B: Ok.
A: Where do you want to go?
B: I dunno.
A: What are you in the mood for? 
B: I dunno.
A: Italian? Mexican? American?
B: I dunno.
A: Pizza? Burgers? Burritos?
B: I dunno. You pick.
A: grrrrrrrr......


When in the store:


A: Ooh, these pot holders are cute!
B: Yeah, they are.
A: Mom would really like these. We should get some. Which do you think: cows or pigs?
B: I dunno.
A: I mean, the cows are here favorites, but the pigs are pink. And she loves pink. Right?
B: I guess.
A: I'm asking your opinion here. Which ones? Cows? Or Pigs?
B: I dunno. You pick.
A: grrrrrrrrrrr.....


Most of the time, I ignore it. It is in his nature to make sure everyone around him is happy. It's sweet and endearing.


Except when it's not.


Because sometimes, I want to NOT have to make any decisions. Sometimes I wish he would say, "Abby, tonight we're going to go to here, eat there, and enjoy that."


So, a few nights ago we were out Christmas shopping for our family. Which, believe me, makes my brain hurt from all the decision making. Upon finishing, Brian tells me he wants dinner. (Because Christmas shopping is tough in general...and it's even tougher on a strict budget.) And he's really craving pizza. Hallelujah! Decision made!


B: So, what kind of pizza do you want?
A: I don't care, babe. Just get whatever you want.
B: *cannot compute. Brain shutting down. Abby doesn't want to make a decision. System failure.*
A: Seriously. It's up to you. I don't want to have to make any more decisions today. In fact, any decisions made in the next twenty-four hours are solely yours to make.
B: ... ... ... ... Ok. I think I can handle that.


He whips out his smart phone, orders a pizza, and we begin driving. I'm utterly relieved that I didn't have to choose our dinner, and I settle back in my seat to enjoy the ride of the unencumbered. Our conversation turns toward our Christmas haul, how we'll wrap the items, and what reactions we're hoping for from the recipients. Ten minutes into the conversation, Brian turns to me and says:


B: So, what do you want to do when we get home?
A: *face palm* You didn't even last ten minutes.
B: ... ... ... ... I was asking your opinion, so I could make an informed decision.

What? He tried.

Photo Shoot with Nurse Brian

Yesterday, Brian and I took a trip to our local uniform outlet storm. And guess what we bought??!


SCRUBS!


(If you didn't guess scrubs, you're really bad at this game. Or else, you've never had cause to visit your own local uniform outlet store, and therefore, weren't aware of their contents.)


Brian was so excited. His first real scrubs--YAY! I got to tag along because he's semi-color blind, so he needs my help when it comes to matching colors.


Also, he's a man. So...ya know...lack of fashion sense and whatnot.


There wasn't much left to do when we got home, other than have a fashion show so I could take a TON of pictures for the blog. And that's when things got funny.


I should also mention that we'd been out to dinner before the photo shoot began. And that I had a few glasses of wine. 


So, Brian dons his first outfit, and I start shouting out directions befitting of a professional photographer at a magazine cover shoot.


Abby: Smile! Look happy! Carefree! Think about bunnies!
Brian: *weak smile*

Of course he's wearing his badge. It completes the  ensemble.

When that doesn't get a response out of him, I wait until his back is turned, then "accidentally" click the button when he isn't looking.


Brian: You did NOT just take a picture of my butt.
Abby: Of COURSE not honey...*giggle snort chuckle*

Sorry, honey. I lied.

Still...nothing. So, I decided to opt out of the posed shots, choosing to snap candids instead.


Abby: HEY! LOOKIT ME!!!
Brian: Yes, dear?
Abby: *snap*

What he's thinking: "My wife, she's a crazy." (Read as if you were Luigi.)

(Hopefully he will appreciate my framing, here. I TOTALLY included the Transformers Shelf in the composition of this photo on purpose. I swear.)


Suddenly, I'm struck with inspiration. 


Abby: I know, Brian! Do something....nurse-ish.
Brian: ... ... ...

Don't worry, future patients. This is NOT the look he'll give YOU when
you ask him what a hematoma looks like.

Apparently, he didn't get my inspiration.


Brian: What the heck does "nurse-ish" mean?
Abby: I dunno. Try to look...collegiate. Do something a nurse would do.
Brian: I have no clue...
Abby: I KNOW! Get your stethescope!


Finally willing to play along, Brian takes out his stethescope, grabs a cat, and I get the awesomest shot of the night:

Brian's interpretation of the words "nurse-ish" and "collegiate" in the same photo.

Scrubs Photo Shoot = Awesome of Epic Proportions.