How I'm Feeling About Facebook Lately

The internet has been a hazardous place as of late. Especially on Facebook. With the looming election, paired with recent world events and football season, Facebook has gone from this:

To this:

I always wonder what I'll stumble across each morning when I open my internet browser. Will I be smacked in the face with some crazy right-wing conspiracy theory, complete with hate speech and illustrations? Or will I (finally) be greeted with the things I WANT to know about...i.e. who's at the grocery store/which friend's kid won their soccer game/who found a Doctor Who collectible on eBay.

In years past, when the internet turns hostile, Brian and I have been known to "take a Facebook break." We disable or delete our accounts, living a blissful, quiet life, free from armchair politics and the web-wide Whiny Wanda. (Because everybody has a friend like that, am I right?)

Believe me when I say my finger has hovered over the "Obliterate Your Facebook Account Here" button several times over the last few weeks.

But I can't seem to make myself pull the trigger this time. Maybe it's because I don't want to go to the trouble of recreating my account in a month when I start going through withdrawals. Maybe it's because Brian is gone a lot, and Facebook is my tangible connection to the outside world. Maybe it's because I would miss seeing the daily posts from Jenna about my godkids. 

However, if I'm honest with you about why I haven't just quit Facebook this time, it comes down to a simple answer.

It's because Facebook created the ultimate answer when they came up with the "Show in News Feed" feature. I can be friends with you on Facebook all day long, but if I don't want to read all of your rants, I can simply choose to take you out of my personal timeline. You're nary the wiser, and my page is filled with the updates I'm most interested in. 

FINALLY! I can create a timeline that will greet me with unicorns and rainbows instead of gremlins and thunderheads!! I get plenty of pleasure out of making use of that little feature.


You posted something extremely offensive? HIDE FROM TIMELINE!

You continually post political statements that border on hate speech? HIDE FROM TIMELINE!

You complain about everything in your life to the point of exhaustion? HIDE FROM TIMELINE!



I feel like Shera with He-man's catch phrase.

I'm sure at some point I'll revisit those I've hidden and consider allowing them back into the lovely meadow of wildflowers that is my Facebook timeline. (Perhaps after the election is over?) But for now, I'm employing my own brand of The Timeline Police. And it's working!

Of course, I could always just use my husband's answer for Facebook nonsense and post this whenever someone annoys me (Warning: Foul Language Ahead:)

Source

Funny, colorful, and right to the point. But, I think I'm going to stick to my game plan. It's reversible, it's comfortable, and it's keeping Facebook much more warm and fuzzy. HEY! It's Facebook's version of the Snuggie! And who knows, maybe one day, the internet will return to being a (mostly) kind place to visit. But for now, I'm gonna stick to my guns and wrap my little piece of the internet in the warm flannel of choice. Thank you, Facebook, for giving me the option to be the passive-aggressive peace keeper of my own page.

The Facebook Phenomenon

Remember Myspace?

You know...with the flashy backgrounds and the glittery "YOUR SPACE IS AWESOME" comments and the "SURPRISE MY MUSIC SUCKS" playing through your computer speakers?


Right, well, when Myspace first became all the rage, I ignored it. I mean, I wasn't a 13 year old girl who dreamed of having a unicorn-themed website where all my friends could come by and OMG me to death.


My Father-In-Law, Walt, has been on the internet since before the internet was cool. (Seriously--he'll tell you all about it on his blog, The Lucky Puppy.) So naturally, he fell in line with the masses and whipped himself up a Myspace page. And then, the recruiting began.

Phone call: "Hey, Abby, you should get a Myspace Page!!! 

Then we could message each other all the time!!"

Email: "Dear Abby, Have you looked at Myspace yet? DO IT!"

Text Message: "RU on Myspace YET?"

Sky writer: "MYSPACE ME ABBY?"

Finally, I caved in. Created a Myspace profile. Added my pictures and my info and a pink background and whatnot. 

And discovered blogging.

A couple of years later, the word "Facebook" crept up in the news.  "Oh boy," I thought. "Another social media website that I'm going to get sucked into."

I didn't wait for the barrage of messages from my tech-savvy FIL, I just jumped in with both feet.....

And immediately became obsessed.

I stayed online for HOURS, updating my profile, loading pictures, and stalking my friends.  I spent more hours looking for people I went to elementary, middle, high school with. People I'd known from summer jobs and internships. People who knew people I knew from way back when. Friend requests, status updates, quizzes that told me my aura was blue, not orange. I reconnected with friends I thought I'd lost forever, people who I consider some of my best friends today. AWESOME.  I think it's pretty plain, between you and me, how I felt about Facebook versus Myspace:

Then I found the GAMES! Oh, Lordy, the games. I was particularly fond of Farmville. I spent so much of my free time planting cotton, harvesting wheat, and watering flowers that I could've qualified for my own piece of property in Idaho. The sending of gifts, the asking for nails and buckets and crap to build horse stables with, the visiting my neighbor's farms to gain experience---it was all-consuming. But I kept at it...because of my affinity for the little ducks.

Then came the "dark period" of 2009. B and I had been trying to have a baby, again, and were unsuccessful, again. I was in the depths of despair, and turned even more free time to the internet. What time wasn't spent on Facebook was spent researching infertility, weight loss techniques, and adoption. And then, the floodgates opened. Within 1 month, 6 of my friends announced they were pregnant.

I slipped into a deep depression.

I would log onto Facebook everyday, and be flooded with pictures of baby showers, sonograms, cribs and high chairs. As happy as I was for these friends, some of whom were the best of my friends, I felt myself harboring hateful feelings that did not feel like the Abby I've always known.

So B and I made a pact. No more Facebook, for at least one month. Even on our Blackberry's. We called it our Facebook Sabbatical.

And we did. And I didn't miss it. Mostly.

By the time the month was over, I was ready to log back into my online life and see what was shaking. But I promised myself that I wouldn't play Farmville, or any other games, anymore. And that I wouldn't obsess over other people's business. I started blocking people who enticed me to argue politics, or made statements that frustrated or annoyed me. I vowed to only spend 30 minutes a day on Facebook...no more, no less. And I learned to control the addiction I had to social networking.

What we learned on our Facebook Sabbatical: As fun as it is to keep up with people, connect with lost friends, brag about our successes...our life is here. In the real sense. With each other. All the rest can just fall away.