Have a splendiferous 8 days, ladies and gents. I know I will! Peace out!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
I Wrote My Readers A Love Letter (Sort Of)
I've had 96 page views today. That surprises me for two reasons. One: I haven't been writing that much lately, so there's not much new content to be enjoyed. And two: the only reason I came here today was to show you that I wrote you a love letter. Sort of.
Have a splendiferous 8 days, ladies and gents. I know I will! Peace out!
Have a splendiferous 8 days, ladies and gents. I know I will! Peace out!
Friday, May 25, 2012
The Day I Almost Lost My Leg To An Evil Sea Monster
A few days ago, I finally got to enjoy the first beach day of the summer with gal pal, Arielle. It was a gorgeous day--clear blue sky, warm but breezy, and sunny enough to get a jump start on our tans. It was a perfectly normal, perfectly wonderful, perfectly unexceptional day at the beach.
Now, before you panic, there are 2 things you need to know about the South Carolina coast. Number one: the water isn't crystal clear. In fact, it's so silty you can't see anything beneath its surface. That means that you're swimming with the fishes without being able to see the fishes, which is both alarming and comforting at the same time. Number two: yes, sting rays can be pretty big. However, the children were playing in water that was about ankle deep. And in all the years I've been swimming in the Carolina oceans, I've never seen a sting ray. (Not to say that I'm a marine expert. I'm not. I'm sure there are a bazillion sting ray sightings in any given summer. I'm just saying I've never seen one.)
Undeterred, but erring on the side of caution, Arielle and I walked several yards down from the sting ray sighting, and plunged into the waves. The water was deliciously chilly, and we spent the next half an hour floating, and laughing, and splashing.
In the middle of a particularly funny story, a wave took me under and swept me away from Arielle. I wanted to hear the punch line, so I started walking toward her. And that's when I stepped on something that was clearly NOT the sandy bottom. And how did I know that, you ask? Well, readers, it moved. And I reacted thusly:
Arielle was still several feet away from me and could not hear my distress howl over the sound of the waves. All I knew, in that split second, was that there were two major objectives that needed to be achieved, and quickly. One: get the hell out of dodge. And two: warn my friend of the impending doom beneath my feet. So I did the only logical thing.
"What the.....?" she asked.
After a few hours of sunbathing, we decided to head down to the water for a quick swim. As we approached the ocean, we noticed a small group of women yanking their children out of the shallows, waving their arms around and shouting at one another in warning. Curious, Arielle and I headed over to find out what the commotion was all about. A rather buxom woman in a pink bikini told us she'd just seen a sting ray on the bottom. And according to her, it was the biggest sting ray ever seen on the East Coast.
 |
| She stretched her arms so wide, it was as if she was made of silly putty. |
Now, before you panic, there are 2 things you need to know about the South Carolina coast. Number one: the water isn't crystal clear. In fact, it's so silty you can't see anything beneath its surface. That means that you're swimming with the fishes without being able to see the fishes, which is both alarming and comforting at the same time. Number two: yes, sting rays can be pretty big. However, the children were playing in water that was about ankle deep. And in all the years I've been swimming in the Carolina oceans, I've never seen a sting ray. (Not to say that I'm a marine expert. I'm not. I'm sure there are a bazillion sting ray sightings in any given summer. I'm just saying I've never seen one.)
 |
| Also, it should be said that rarely does a sting ray ever grow to the size of a school bus, which is what pink bikini lady was leading us to believe. |
Undeterred, but erring on the side of caution, Arielle and I walked several yards down from the sting ray sighting, and plunged into the waves. The water was deliciously chilly, and we spent the next half an hour floating, and laughing, and splashing.
 |
| We ♥ the ocean. |
In the middle of a particularly funny story, a wave took me under and swept me away from Arielle. I wanted to hear the punch line, so I started walking toward her. And that's when I stepped on something that was clearly NOT the sandy bottom. And how did I know that, you ask? Well, readers, it moved. And I reacted thusly:
 |
| In case the picture isn't self-explanatory...ahem...."AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHH." |
Arielle was still several feet away from me and could not hear my distress howl over the sound of the waves. All I knew, in that split second, was that there were two major objectives that needed to be achieved, and quickly. One: get the hell out of dodge. And two: warn my friend of the impending doom beneath my feet. So I did the only logical thing.
I launched myself at Arielle and latched around her neck, legs kicking behind me.
 |
| She was utterly confused. |
"What the.....?" she asked.
"Wiggle...slimy....trying to eat me...," I sputtered.
"WHAT?" Arielle shouted.
"STING RAY!!!!!!!!!!"
That got her attention. And the frantic paddling for shore began. Neither of us would let our feet touch the sand, which led to hauling ourselves up on the beach like seals. We were safe, our toes uneaten, and butts unstung.
And somewhere along the coast of South Carolina, the elephantine sting ray of death swims evilly beneath the surface, with an Abby-sized footprint on its back.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
...I Don't Need Anything Else, Except This Lamp...
Vacation.
That word, in and of itself, is enough to send me into the happy dance.
Just say it with me, readers. Enunciate. Feel the syllables roll around on you tongue.
"Vaaaaa-caaaaa-tioooooon."
Isn't it titillating??
For the first time in 3 years, Brian and I are actually packing up, hitting the road, and going somewhere (that is not here) for an extended period of time. The key part of that sentence is that we're going somewhere (THAT IS NOT HERE.) As in, we're leaving home. As in, we're going away.
The last time we were away from home for any stretch of time was when Brian was in the hospital. It's true that neither of us had to work during that long, emotional week. But sleeping on a fold-out chair is far from a vacation. In fact, the last REAL vacation we took was February of 2010. So, I'm a little rusty when it comes to the planning, and the preparing, and the packing.
Let me just put it out there, friends. My OCD is in overdrive right now. My house is COVERED in lists. From my desk...
To my office.
The dry-erase board in the kitchen that is usually reserved for my weekly meal plan has been taken over by the sudden need to jot down a list of supplies we need to pack, since Dizzy (our diabetic kitty) is making the trip with us.
And not even the bathroom mirror is immune. (Anyone recognize the shower curtain from "This Morning, I Became An Assassin"?)
All the post-it notes you see above, and they don't even begin to cover all the lists I've got rolling around in my head right now. (I may or may not already be planning my wardrobe for the week in question. Maybe. I wouldn't admit to it if I was...)
The funny thing is that we don't leave until Tuesday. I have a WHOLE WEEK to figure out what suitcase to use, which socks to pack, and whether or not to take my bathing suit. (We're staying with family. They don't have a pool. But you never know when a pool might present itself, am I right?)
And if I pack a bathing suit, I have to pack a cover-up, beach towels, sunscreen, and my floppy hat.
OMG...where IS my floppy hat??
Ooh, that reminds me, I need to make sure I find Brian's water shoes. I'll bet my hat is near them, buried in the depths of my closet. That makes sense...they're both aquatic necessities.
I should probably pack my giant water bottle, too.
Ok, maybe I don't need to take the floppy hat. I mean, it's a little old fashioned. And I only wear it at the beach to keep the sun off my face. I don't need the hat. Or the water shoes. But I definitely need the bathing suit.
And the sunscreen.
And the beach towels.
Sigh. Even my blog isn't immune from my list-making. So I'm going to succumb to the need, drink another cup of coffee in my awesome unicorn mug, and continue making lists until the sun goes down.
PS: For those who didn't get it, the title of this post comes from my favorite scene in the movie "The Jerk," starring Steve Martin. For the curious, click here.
That word, in and of itself, is enough to send me into the happy dance.
Just say it with me, readers. Enunciate. Feel the syllables roll around on you tongue.
"Vaaaaa-caaaaa-tioooooon."
Isn't it titillating??
For the first time in 3 years, Brian and I are actually packing up, hitting the road, and going somewhere (that is not here) for an extended period of time. The key part of that sentence is that we're going somewhere (THAT IS NOT HERE.) As in, we're leaving home. As in, we're going away.
The last time we were away from home for any stretch of time was when Brian was in the hospital. It's true that neither of us had to work during that long, emotional week. But sleeping on a fold-out chair is far from a vacation. In fact, the last REAL vacation we took was February of 2010. So, I'm a little rusty when it comes to the planning, and the preparing, and the packing.
Let me just put it out there, friends. My OCD is in overdrive right now. My house is COVERED in lists. From my desk...
To my office.
The dry-erase board in the kitchen that is usually reserved for my weekly meal plan has been taken over by the sudden need to jot down a list of supplies we need to pack, since Dizzy (our diabetic kitty) is making the trip with us.
And not even the bathroom mirror is immune. (Anyone recognize the shower curtain from "This Morning, I Became An Assassin"?)
All the post-it notes you see above, and they don't even begin to cover all the lists I've got rolling around in my head right now. (I may or may not already be planning my wardrobe for the week in question. Maybe. I wouldn't admit to it if I was...)
The funny thing is that we don't leave until Tuesday. I have a WHOLE WEEK to figure out what suitcase to use, which socks to pack, and whether or not to take my bathing suit. (We're staying with family. They don't have a pool. But you never know when a pool might present itself, am I right?)
And if I pack a bathing suit, I have to pack a cover-up, beach towels, sunscreen, and my floppy hat.
OMG...where IS my floppy hat??
Ooh, that reminds me, I need to make sure I find Brian's water shoes. I'll bet my hat is near them, buried in the depths of my closet. That makes sense...they're both aquatic necessities.
I should probably pack my giant water bottle, too.
Ok, maybe I don't need to take the floppy hat. I mean, it's a little old fashioned. And I only wear it at the beach to keep the sun off my face. I don't need the hat. Or the water shoes. But I definitely need the bathing suit.
And the sunscreen.
And the beach towels.
Sigh. Even my blog isn't immune from my list-making. So I'm going to succumb to the need, drink another cup of coffee in my awesome unicorn mug, and continue making lists until the sun goes down.
 |
| Yeah. That's the coolest coffee mug, EVER. |
PS: For those who didn't get it, the title of this post comes from my favorite scene in the movie "The Jerk," starring Steve Martin. For the curious, click here.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Conversations with My Husband: The Omelet That Never Ends
As I mentioned in my last post, Brian is on summer vacation from school. Which means he's home 4 days a week, from dawn to dusk. It's been three whole weeks of no school, and I've enjoyed every second of having him home.
So much so that I'm afraid I've already been spoiled by his constant presence.
Because even though Brian doesn't have classes right now, he still works on weekends---three 12-hour shifts, Friday through Sunday. And even though I always look forward to my Gilmore Girls Marathon on Friday morning, by Friday evening, I'm desperately lonely.
Which leads to conversations like this one, which we had last night while climbing into bed:
Abby: "Don't go to work tomorrow."
Brian: "I have to."
Abby: "No, don't. Stay home with me. You know you want to."
Brian: "Of course I do. But I have to work because we need money."
Abby: "P-shaw. Who needs money?? I'll pay you to stay home."
Brian: "And where are you going to get the money to pay me to stay home?"
Abby: "My bank account."
Brian: "You mean our joint bank account?"
Abby: "Well, yeah."
Brian: "Uh huh. And what do we do when we have to spend that money on groceries and there's no more money left in that joint bank account for us to survive off of?"
Abby: *grumble grumble whine sigh grumble*
It continues on like this, logic versus relentlessness, until it becomes obvious (to me, anyway) that only bribery will work.
Abby: "Soooo...if you stay home tomorrow, I'll make you breakfast. Anything you want in the whole wide world."
Brian: "Oh yeah?"
Abby: "Yeah. And then we'll go to Disney Land and have lunch with Tinkerbell. And then we'll go on a cruise. In outer space. It'll be awesome. You really should stay home."
Brian: (long pause, then) "Well, alright. I'll stay home."
Abby: "REALLY?"
Brian: "Yeah, sure."
Abby: "Awesome! So, what do you want for breakfast?"
Brian: "An omelet."
Abby: "Just a plain omelet?"
Brian: "No. An omelet with sausage. And onions. And peppers."
Abby: "Ok, I can do that."
Brian: "And tomatoes. And cheese. It's not an omelet without cheese."
Abby: "Naturally."
Brian: "I also want scratch-made biscuits. And pancakes."
Abby: "Gee, you're planning on being really hungry tomorrow morning."
Brian: "Yep. Pancakes from scratch--no mix. And organic syrup."
Abby: "Wow...."
Brian: "And also, apple-wood smoked bacon."
Abby: "Are you sure you want to eat so much before your first trip on a rocket to outer space? You might be sick."
Brian: "Yep."
Abby: "So let me get this straight. You want an omelet with sausage and onions and peppers and tomatoes and cheese, scratch-made biscuits and pancakes with organic syrup..."
Brian: "Scratch-made pancakes, no mix."
Abby: "Right, scratch-made pancakes, no mix, with organic syrup, and apple-wood smoked bacon. Did I get that right?"
Brian: "Yep."
Abby: "Gee. I'm going to be cooking all day."
Brian: "But if you're cooking all day, we won't have time for Disney Land, lunch with Tinkerbell, or the outer-space cruise."
Abby: "I know."
Brian: "So I guess we better cancel all those plans, huh?"
Abby: "Yeah, probably so."
Brian: "That stinks. Maybe another day?"
Abby: "Maybe."
Brian: "Don't worry. We can go Monday. I'm off all day on Monday."
Abby: "Okay."
We open our prospective books and read in silence for a few minutes. And then...
Abby: "Wait, what kind of cheese do you want on your omelet?"
Brian: (without missing a beat) "Goat."
Abby: "Goat. Got it. So you want a goat cheese omelet with sausage and onions and peppers and tomatoes with scratch-made biscuits..."
And we both collapse into giggles. Because we are awesome. And I am not above bribing my husband with the omelet that never ends in order to spend a few more hours with him. Any day.
So much so that I'm afraid I've already been spoiled by his constant presence.
Because even though Brian doesn't have classes right now, he still works on weekends---three 12-hour shifts, Friday through Sunday. And even though I always look forward to my Gilmore Girls Marathon on Friday morning, by Friday evening, I'm desperately lonely.
Which leads to conversations like this one, which we had last night while climbing into bed:
Abby: "Don't go to work tomorrow."
Brian: "I have to."
Abby: "No, don't. Stay home with me. You know you want to."
Brian: "Of course I do. But I have to work because we need money."
Abby: "P-shaw. Who needs money?? I'll pay you to stay home."
Brian: "And where are you going to get the money to pay me to stay home?"
Abby: "My bank account."
Brian: "You mean our joint bank account?"
Abby: "Well, yeah."
Brian: "Uh huh. And what do we do when we have to spend that money on groceries and there's no more money left in that joint bank account for us to survive off of?"
Abby: *grumble grumble whine sigh grumble*
It continues on like this, logic versus relentlessness, until it becomes obvious (to me, anyway) that only bribery will work.
Abby: "Soooo...if you stay home tomorrow, I'll make you breakfast. Anything you want in the whole wide world."
Brian: "Oh yeah?"
Abby: "Yeah. And then we'll go to Disney Land and have lunch with Tinkerbell. And then we'll go on a cruise. In outer space. It'll be awesome. You really should stay home."
Brian: (long pause, then) "Well, alright. I'll stay home."
Abby: "REALLY?"
Brian: "Yeah, sure."
Abby: "Awesome! So, what do you want for breakfast?"
Brian: "An omelet."
Abby: "Just a plain omelet?"
Brian: "No. An omelet with sausage. And onions. And peppers."
Abby: "Ok, I can do that."
Brian: "And tomatoes. And cheese. It's not an omelet without cheese."
Abby: "Naturally."
Brian: "I also want scratch-made biscuits. And pancakes."
Abby: "Gee, you're planning on being really hungry tomorrow morning."
Brian: "Yep. Pancakes from scratch--no mix. And organic syrup."
Abby: "Wow...."
Brian: "And also, apple-wood smoked bacon."
Abby: "Are you sure you want to eat so much before your first trip on a rocket to outer space? You might be sick."
Brian: "Yep."
Abby: "So let me get this straight. You want an omelet with sausage and onions and peppers and tomatoes and cheese, scratch-made biscuits and pancakes with organic syrup..."
Brian: "Scratch-made pancakes, no mix."
Abby: "Right, scratch-made pancakes, no mix, with organic syrup, and apple-wood smoked bacon. Did I get that right?"
Brian: "Yep."
Abby: "Gee. I'm going to be cooking all day."
Brian: "But if you're cooking all day, we won't have time for Disney Land, lunch with Tinkerbell, or the outer-space cruise."
Abby: "I know."
Brian: "So I guess we better cancel all those plans, huh?"
Abby: "Yeah, probably so."
Brian: "That stinks. Maybe another day?"
Abby: "Maybe."
Brian: "Don't worry. We can go Monday. I'm off all day on Monday."
Abby: "Okay."
We open our prospective books and read in silence for a few minutes. And then...
Abby: "Wait, what kind of cheese do you want on your omelet?"
Brian: (without missing a beat) "Goat."
Abby: "Goat. Got it. So you want a goat cheese omelet with sausage and onions and peppers and tomatoes with scratch-made biscuits..."
And we both collapse into giggles. Because we are awesome. And I am not above bribing my husband with the omelet that never ends in order to spend a few more hours with him. Any day.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
I'm Not Dead, I'm Just Thoroughly Enjoying My Summer Vacation
Up until about 3 weeks ago, my daily schedule looked something like this:
7:45-8:55: Wake up, coffee, shower, dress for the day
8:56-10:00: Work stuff
10:01-12:30: Write, illustrate and publish blog
12:31-5:00: "Abby Time" (ie: internet surfing, writing stuff other than Abby Gabs, house work, TV catch-up time, etc.)
5:01: Close up shop
5:02: Celebrate because Brian is FINALLY home, even if his nose is in a book. Again.
5:03-bedtime: Spend as much time as possible with Brian, because he'll be gone all day tomorrow.
However, Brian finished up with school for the summer about 3 weeks ago. So now, my daily schedule looks more like this:
8:20-8:56: Wake up, scramble to shower and dress for the day.
8:57-9:30: Work stuff
9:31-bedtime: Hang out with Brian.
We've managed, in 3 weeks, to watch 3 seasons of Doctor Who. It's just another reason why working from home is totally beneficial when it comes to finding plenty of time for entertainment. We've also see The Avengers twice in the theater, been to the zoo in Columbia, and spent plenty of time with friends and family.
Needless to say, I'm totally in heaven.
This is the most time we've gotten to spend together in 18 months, so we're enjoying every minute...which explains my lack of posting recently. Quite honestly, my head is completely drained of anything other than how to best fill my hours with my husband. For the first time since Abby Gabs' creation, I honestly haven't thought much about blogging in the past 3 days. In fact, I can't remember a time when I haven't posted a blog until a Thursday of any given week.
This may be a first. I'd have to check my archives to be sure.
I'm not so sure how the summer will go, and I won't make any promises here that I'll try to keep, will fail miserably at keeping, and will feel guilty for not keeping. Instead, I will just say that I'll post when I have something worth posting. And I'll keep enjoying Brian as long as I have him home every day.
But don't worry, readers. Come August, he'll be going back to school to finish up his last semester, and I'll be all lonely and needy again. And when I'm lonely and needy, I photoshop pictures of myself with Donnie Wahlberg to make me feel better. And that's all the blog fodder a girl needs to post daily. Am I right?
7:45-8:55: Wake up, coffee, shower, dress for the day
8:56-10:00: Work stuff
10:01-12:30: Write, illustrate and publish blog
12:31-5:00: "Abby Time" (ie: internet surfing, writing stuff other than Abby Gabs, house work, TV catch-up time, etc.)
5:01: Close up shop
5:02: Celebrate because Brian is FINALLY home, even if his nose is in a book. Again.
5:03-bedtime: Spend as much time as possible with Brian, because he'll be gone all day tomorrow.
However, Brian finished up with school for the summer about 3 weeks ago. So now, my daily schedule looks more like this:
8:20-8:56: Wake up, scramble to shower and dress for the day.
8:57-9:30: Work stuff
9:31-bedtime: Hang out with Brian.
We've managed, in 3 weeks, to watch 3 seasons of Doctor Who. It's just another reason why working from home is totally beneficial when it comes to finding plenty of time for entertainment. We've also see The Avengers twice in the theater, been to the zoo in Columbia, and spent plenty of time with friends and family.
Needless to say, I'm totally in heaven.
This is the most time we've gotten to spend together in 18 months, so we're enjoying every minute...which explains my lack of posting recently. Quite honestly, my head is completely drained of anything other than how to best fill my hours with my husband. For the first time since Abby Gabs' creation, I honestly haven't thought much about blogging in the past 3 days. In fact, I can't remember a time when I haven't posted a blog until a Thursday of any given week.
This may be a first. I'd have to check my archives to be sure.
I'm not so sure how the summer will go, and I won't make any promises here that I'll try to keep, will fail miserably at keeping, and will feel guilty for not keeping. Instead, I will just say that I'll post when I have something worth posting. And I'll keep enjoying Brian as long as I have him home every day.
But don't worry, readers. Come August, he'll be going back to school to finish up his last semester, and I'll be all lonely and needy again. And when I'm lonely and needy, I photoshop pictures of myself with Donnie Wahlberg to make me feel better. And that's all the blog fodder a girl needs to post daily. Am I right?
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